Friday, July 09, 2010


.. Five weeks without smoking.

I understand why people 'inflict' their non smoking on others; because these have possibly been 5 of THE most joyless fucking weeks of my existence; remembering I was educated by Nuns and abused by my Step Father.. Yes... Fucking sobering isn't it?!

Horrible. Utterly awful.

I don’t deny I physically FEEL ‘better’.

I sleep better, less disturbed, less teeth grinding but I am beyond fucking miserable.

And I can’t write.

My processes don’t work anymore.

I no longer ‘skin up’, a time when I formulate what I want to write... Access to the keys being blocked by the Whats On TV rolling mat.

A pipe.

A tobacco-less pipe.

The Coitus Interruptus of dope smoking.

It ALMOST gets you stoned but the fit of oxygen sapping coughing rips any real satisfaction from it.

You can’t even enjoy the minuscule amount of stoned you get because your throat feels like it’s had a treatment for barnacles.

I had a beautiful moment in the queue for the Post Office today. It was out the door and under the scaffolding that was up for, Christ knows what.

On it were a couple of blokes in their 50's and 'The Boy'.

The Boy was early 20's, stripped to a pair of shorts and ripped like you wouldn't believe.

He was a magnificent specimen of what the muscled male body can look like.

I was caught looking.

One of the older guys shouted at me,

'Oi! Love! I bet you're wondering where you can get one of these?'

He indicated his younger colleague with a flamboyant flourish of his hand.

I shook my head.

"Nah mate! I was wondering if he had a sister!"

Huge hilarity ensued.

The older guys fell about laughing.

Ho Hum..


Schneewittchen said...

Excellent! Still, it reminds me that Seth-lar has been told to cover up more at work. Some of the shonky old men don't like to see a young man out there working in a vest. They haven't complained about the young woman who wears the same thing.

Sleepy said...

Mmm. Funny that..

Artemesia said...

Joyless, yes! But an investment in 'Futures' that increases in value with every bit of cash you don't pay out to the tobacco market! Congratulations for sticking this out! Soon, you'll be able to swim the Channel without huffing and puffing...
...I went through it too. I think I'd be dead today if I hadn't given up the smoke. God, how I loved to smoke..