My insomnia is now out of control. I went to bed at 6am and was up a 9am. Had 5 hours yesterday and 4 the day before.
My whole life has taken on a really ethereal quality accompanied by mild hallucinations! Not seeing dead relatives in mirrors or anything like that, (although, my good friend Schnee, would have Derek Accorah at my door in an instant if I did!) just catching glimpses of the non existent cat at the corner of my eye! Really annoying when it IS one of my actual cats, as that scares the shit outta me! Then there are the ‘spiders’ that seem to creep over the arms of my chair coupled with the weird noises my house makes when it thinks nobody is around. I like to think it stretches a bit, decides which light bulb is going to randomly blow next and hides door keys. If it had an accent, it would sound like Parker from the Thunderbirds.
There are also the looks of those around you. Pitying, with just a hint of insincerity. The truth is, nobody really cares if you are sleeping or not as long as they ARE!
I have been like this ever since I can remember. At 3 I was given a drug called Paraldehyde, which is an anti epileptic barbiturate. I have had every label beginning with, “just a naughty child” followed by hyperactive, sociopath, ADD, ADHD and High Functioning Autism… Personally, I like them all! Sociopath, having a special place as I was 6 at the time of that diagnosis!
But to me?… I just don’t need a lot of sleep!
From the very beginning my Mother (henceforth, ATM, Attila The Mum) took my insomnia very, very personally. As if this baby was deliberately keeping her up. This later led to ATM’s flirtation with infanticide but as I was over a year old she wouldn’t have got away with it, so didn’t bother! Which I have always taken as, ’She couldn’t be bothered to kill me’.. I was ’legally’ drugged into submission for the next 19 years. I have spent the last 17 self medicating in all the wonderful ways nature and chemistry allow!
I rant and rave A LOT.. Most things and most people piss me off.
So there it is.. The general gist of what may turn up on these pages.
And …… Schnee.. Happy now? Hehehe!
7 comments:
Well yes I am! Were it not for the fact that your insomnia is clearly infectious. :) Nice work insomniac...
Oh, and...so far as psychic mediums go, I've moved my affections to David Wells now since I bumped into him outside the Co-op on Elm Grove.
I don't know about this David Wells, but will find out!
Elm Grove? was he slumming it or playing The Kings?
He's the other medium from Most Haunted. MH was in Southsea a few months ago but unless he got stuck in the Vaults and couldn't get out, I dunno.
Is the text on your blog supposed to be wobbling? No? Hell, you're right about the effects of sleep deprivation then..
@Schnee.. The other thing is I lost my glasses in a field last week!
So I am sporting a particularly attractive squint as well as huge bags under my eyes!
Insomnia - now this I understand. Just ask Schnee.
Here's the evil drug that is helping me: Brand name - Imovane, real name - Zoplicone.
Nothing else was working. It's available not in the U.S. but in Canada and possibly the U.K. It's like Ativan, but a different class (so less addictive). I take half a pill and it knocks me out and helps me to stay asleep. Drugs are BAD, I know, but it makes a huge difference. Allow me to mail you a pill.
- Karen
Karen.. Thanks for the advice and I know zopiclone! They don't touch me so rather than have the doctor turning me into an addict, I get to choose my oblivion! Works well for me!
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