Today, because I decided to watch the Match Of The Day repeat, I ended up at the 10.15am Mass.
AKA the ‘Screaming and Crying’ Mass.
Given the numbers who plod out for the Children’s Liturgy, the Roman Catholic Church shouldn’t have any trouble sustaining itself.
But...
But if, as I believe, they are there because their parents are thinking ahead about school places.... It’s fucked!
There was a magic moment before kick off, when the old lady with barely any teeth and the old lady with barely any English got into it over the collection bags.
I’m not sure how that one got resolved. I’d like to think they took it in the car park and had a bit of a scrap.
It was the one with scant English who waved it under my nose.
Then there was the moment of absolute gold.
A little boy, unimpressed by the mystery of Transubstantiation, was hugging and grabbing his kneeling Father’s leg.
Getting no response other than the finger to the lips “Shush” sign, he waited until ‘we were not worthy to receive’ anything then BIT his Dad right on the cheek of his arse!
Watching a huge black man grip the pew and throw his head back in a silent scream was brilliant.
From the way he looked at his son I just knew; another time, another place and this kid wouldn’t be sitting down for a week.
I couldn’t keep my shit together after that!
5 comments:
Are 'collection bags' contributed
charity for the 'needy'? If so, what an awful humiliation to have to accept any of these bags in public view like those 2 old ladies..Not everyone has the means to grow old gracefully or retain dignity when already feeling like a thrownaway person.. Once upon a time those old ladies had their pride and looks. I wonder what it took for them to not care about face anymore.
If those 'bags' are charity..I think they should be doled out in a more private place or do people want to see who is in need..It appears quite thoughtless and demeaning in the first place. Not surprising that some recipients joined in with the their own version of self derision.
A
No. The Collection Bags are for the normal Church Collection that goes on during Sunday services.
Put your quid in and the roof stays on another week, Father P can turn the heating on and there are some flowers round the altar!
It's not for 'the poor'. Not in this area!
The fight is over the 'Kudos' of being the one passing the bag around.
Like those who get to walk the bread and wine up to the lazy arsed priest!
The money is actually quite an important part of the income of the church. The Diocese pays the priests, but the Parish has to pay a quota which is a proportion of the costs of salary, and will also have to pay for any non-clergy wages, such as office and janitorial staff, also running costs such as office supplies, heating, lighting, photocopying, communion wafers, communion wine,candles and such like.
According to the Newsletter they pulled £1041.83 last Sunday, which seems to be the average.
The Christmas and Easter offering Father P gets to keep for himself.
A "Gift" from the Parish.
Thanks for clarifying..I was familiar with the 'collection plate,' not collection bags.
A
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