Had an absolutely MIGHTY time!
Thank you to all there who made my trip so amazing!
The plane home was a bit delayed and I had total tossers behind me, Northerners next to me and a woman with the fattest legs I have EVER seen across the aisle from me.
One of the tossers behind had decided to put her boots in the overhead storage. On her fucking feet or under the seat in front was too avant-garde for her.
When the drink trolley came round she decided her purse was in the storage.
Tosser husband opens it up, frees the boot for gravity to introduce to my head.
Having headphones on I didn’t hear a thing. I jumped out of my skin. Being surprised AND hurt I bellowed, “For Fuck’s Sake! You Prick!”
The male attendant, with extraordinarily well plucked eyebrows, thought a fight was breaking out and made that noise only certain Gay men can make.
It’s a sharp intake of breath and a half swallowed scream all in one.
Sometimes a hand will fly to the mouth or chest.
It’s hard to explain but I know what I mean.
Tosser husband then tells me I’ll be, ‘All right’.
Fucking all right?
I stared at him until he looked away and said, “I’ll fucking have to be, won’t I?”
I went to put my spex back on only to find them banjaxed.
The female attendant noticed at the same time.
I asked who would be paying for them. She went and got me an Incident Form.
Then, as if nothing had happened asked what I wanted to drink.
“3 bottles of White Wine please” was my cheery reply.
‘18 dollars please’, was hers.
I jabbed my thumb behind me, said, “He’s paying” put the ‘phones back on and got on with my book.
Tossers!
The brother was a gem and text me the train times and I was back in The Mansions before midday.
The Sassy one and I hit the greasy spoon for the lunch of champions, egg and chips!
My last view of Vancouver.
I have lots more to tell you! The German House, the trip to Seattle and loads more photos.
*A... The “Plane-tertainment” was tremendous and your letter choked me up, you fucker!
I will 'snail mail' you a letter in return.
Sx
2 comments:
Gaaaagh!!!!
Bloody Hell.
Your being here just made the Olympics for The Schloss, it was a most splendid fortnight although Kevlar is now allowing his liver to recover, but only slightly, the frat pub crawl on Saturday beckons.
The Chutzpah festival have gone into e-mail overdrive, I'm starting to feel the draw of Jewish guilt.
We're keeping our fingers crossed for a late summer rematch.
I expect tales from The Festival!
Stay away from that guilt... It's deep and it's real.
Quite possibly communicable too!
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