A July Weekend

So, the Church of England has been on a bit of a march about this week.
Good for them.
I’m gay, so have march training.
The 1pm news of the day had some woman Bishop pitch up for an interview.
This is where my gripe begins.
If the woman was straight, so am I.
But my main problem is women who are SO obviously gay wearing dangly earrings.
NO!
It doesn’t make you look anymore feminine or straight.
Stop. Your. Fecking. Selves. Will. You!
Just accept that stud earrings are for you now and if you are marching, so are comfy shoes.

This week my ASDA delivery was missing some smoked salmon, so I was forced to phone them.
My call was answered by ‘Mark’ who was very eager to help me.
He was also South African and I couldn’t understand a word.
“Just let me talk” I said “I can’t understand you. Trust me, it‘ll work better this way”.
He decided that this was the point to start asking me for my Mobile number.
“Mark! Mark! You’re not hearing me! Just be quiet and listen!”
Then every time he tried to speak I just shouted,
“Stop!”
He got the score eventually.

On Friday I went with Mr & Mrs Next Door Without The Kids to the Sailor’s Home Club to see a couple of tribute acts.
Elton John and Rod Stewart.
Being with a load of ex Matelots meant a pretty debauched night ensued.
Elton was arse but Mr Next Door informed me that he imitated the ‘real’ Elton perfectly.
Definitely won’t ever be seeing him then.
‘Rod’ was different class altogether.
Absolutely brilliant!
I didn’t feel too wonderful Saturday. As it was nice and warm I thought I’d have a lay down in the garden.
So, of course, the fucking Red Arrows went over at about head height.

Or so it seemed!