Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Bat Shit

Today Housemate Pat and I struck the language barrier over laundry.
For some reason she washes EVERYTHING on the hand wash cycle.
This means the machine goes into error mode on the spin because everything is too fecking heavy.
I tried to explain it to her this morning.
“What about Bat Shit?” she said
‘Bat Shit? How do you get bat shit on yourself?’
“No, Bat Shit upstair in my room.”
Total panic.
‘There’s bat shit in your room? Where the fuck is bat shit coming from?’
When she said,
“I SLEEP in Bat Shit” I got what she was on about.
Bed Sheets!
Managing a straight face,
‘Are they satin or silk?’ I enquired.
It turns out they are cotton and have no fucking business on a hand wash.
So far she has managed to block the kitchen sink so that it bubbles back noodles and bean sprouts rendering it unusable, flood the bathroom and is on her way to sending the washer into a breakdown.
Eeesh.
Housemate Claire, who has been here nearly four years, hasn’t even broken a glass!

When it was bearable I was out in the garden.
Check out this mutant radish! One between two I think.
After reading that Squash can be trained to climb, I attached an old bike wheel to the wall (Recycling! Boom Boom!) and set them on their way.
I’m pretty pleased with their progress.




I nearly forgot this! Isn't it just brilliant!

7 comments:

Sassygril said...

You insured??? I'm transcribing research tapes. Because it's theatre darling they all speak beautifully and clearly. Very different from football managers. I've got a small pile to do before fucking off to Singers and NZ. Slave to the work so I am...

That raddish was something else!

Sleepy said...

Yep, insurance in place.
Just shows the difference though.
This is Claire's 'home' and she looks after stuff.

Let me know if I can help with transcribing.

Crisp-e said...

hahahahahahahaha! Was there sheet on the bat shit? Sorry, I couldn't resist.

First harvest looks amazing!

Sleepy said...

Mate, how I kept my shit together I'll never know!
And, No! Thank Christ.

It's not the first radish but it is the first grown in the ground and not a pot.
To tell the truth I thought the 'creatures' would've had them!

Schneewittchen said...

Well, trying to find something positive, at least she does wash her bat shit. I remember Austen having a housemate way back, whose room stunk like old cheese because of lack of the laundrification of bedclothes.

One of Kevin's colleagues has lived in Canada for some years and yet I still can't understand a word she says. Nice lady, but I dread having to talk to her.

Artemesia said...

As I've enjoyed so many of your out take links..I had to share one I found with you though it has nothing to do with bad shits (bed sheets)..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/03/vagina-spa-helps-women-ge_n_110742.html

Once you get there..if you click on comments, you'll find a great one that includes a dentist's chair..
Cheers,
A

Sleepy said...

Artemesia... Brilliant!
To quote from the article -

"..in which a client contracts her pelvic muscles around Dr Romanzi's fingers..."

She charges $150 for that!
Frankly, it's a service I offer for a dinner and a good bottle of wine!