Care In The Community

I didn’t sleep at all last night so today has been a bit floaty and odd.
It has slashed it with rain more or less constantly.
Miss H, the Octogenarian lesbian caught me.
I was supposed to be out for less than 10 minutes.
I have got to stop using the shop next door to the post office. That place is Catnip to the over 70’s.
Yet again, her arm was through mine, I was turned through 180 degrees and magically I was carrying her shopping.
She was giving me the usual arm squeezing when she decided to announce to the world that I had lost a lot of weight, she could feel my muscles and it was sexy.
She was SO loud. Deaf school loud.
I steered her into the ‘£’ shop and got her some hearing aid batteries!
It was while we were in here she decided to notice that the arse of my jeans was a little baggy.
“Christ! Where’s your backside gone? You had a lovely backside, you did. Come here let me feel it.”
Heads started popping out from behind shelves.
The women on the till could barely contain themselves.
“Miss H! Have a heart will you! Just let me pay for these and fix your 'sounds' before you speak anymore!”
The till women totally lost it at that point and I had to have a smile.
I did the battery and we were on our way again but now she kept grabbing at my arse.
It’s difficult to get just far enough ahead to be out of reach but not so far as to be rude.
When we got to her gate, she asked if I would come help do something with the settings on the catflap.
I looked at her and she had this huge grin.
“Miss H, are you trying to get me to bend over?”
She totally creased up and so did I.
I told her she was incorrigible, came home and have smiled about it most of the day.