What I love about my friends is that there is always ‘something else’ to find out about them that I didn’t know before.
Yesterday I found out that Crisp-e can spend endless hours stroking a female cat (Stop It!) but can’t with a Tom cat because it is and I quote,
“A bit gay!”
Matt and I hurt ourselves laughing!
We discussed what we’d do it we found ourselves in a ‘28 Days Later’ scenario.
Rotheray’s shop of guns and dangerous shit was my choice.
Then the chemist, then Tesco.
Matt STILL had concerns about me having a gun, EVEN in a Zombie situation.
Harsh.
Crisp-e seemed overly bothered that at Sleepy Mansions we were too far from anywhere he could easily get a Chainsaw.
A fucking Chainsaw?
See what I mean about being constantly surprised by mates?
We talked about the ‘Fight or Flight Instinct’ and came to the conclusion Crisp-e and I do not have the “OR” bit of that particular instinct.
We just fight.
My example was a ‘Scary’ fairground ride my sister and two cousins went on when I was about seven.
It was a Dodgem/Ghost Train affair that drove the four of us through the doors into a horrible undersea world.
All sorts of shit dangled down and touched our faces, popped out of walls and was squirted at us.
Then as we came into an open area, the car stopped dead.
Nothing happened.
We were looking at each other, frightened, wondering what the fuck was going on.
Was it broken? What did we do?
Then a ‘Ghost’ appeared, dressed like an old-fashioned deep-sea diver, with the big old, round metal helmet thing.
When he started moaning and groaning, my sister and cousin A started screaming.
As he got nearer, they got louder and more panicked.
When he was within two strides of us, I was out of the car and kicking the absolute fuck out of his legs.
This is also the point when the ride was timed to restart.
Which it did.
The other three were carried away and out in the car.
I was carried out, at arms length, by the scruff of the neck, still kicking, scratching and biting like a sack of kittens on the way to the canal by a very, very angry man.
Ah! The 1970’s.
Before we knew Candyfloss was basically Crystal Meth for my seven-year-old self.
10 comments:
Planning for the Zombie scenario is essential, I always ponder my options wherever I am, I wish I still lived in my old house in Brighton, it was very well defended and had a secure walled courtyard to the side, and afforded good over-the-rooftops escape options.
This house is not so safe - but I have worked out a decent hiding place in the attic and devised a way of getting up the stairs and up a stepladder in less time than it takes the undead to break down the door - the trick is to pull the ladder up behind you, close the trapdoor and be very, very quiet.
You think I'm joking...don't you...
We weren't joking either!
All three of us have worked at one of the worst schools in this city.
We have seen the future... and it's brain eating.
Lol! We all share the same illness! Love it!
The illness that 'Fiction' will ACTUALLY happen to us!!
Hahaha!
There must be a proper name for that.
Sassy will know!
Hmmm...Mayhem was very much like being about to be overwhelmed by zombies at any moment.
How long exactly does it take a zombie to break down a door, or is it variable? If so, what are those variables?
I believe that scary ride in yur childhood has some deep significance. I just don't know what it is.
Is it still gay if the cat is neutered - given that the cat is then incapable of having sex with Crisp-e even if both parties were consenting?
Ohmy god, you know what I just realised ? It's not just the zombies, it was also the not knowing whether the ones you THOUGHT were on your side actually were -just like when a zombie's in the middle of turning - and then suddenly they're working against you, and making people erase tapes of zombies doing their shit. Holy Carp!
Well, I'd think type of door (Plastic or Wood) would have to be factored in.
What kind of barricade you had on your side of the door.
Whether it was defended.
"The Art of War" mate!
That and whatever we have learnt from The Godfather and The Original A Team!
Deep significance?
Mmmm.. Might account for why I don't particularly give a fuck about Buster Crabbe!
I think if the cat is neutered it becomes gayer than a hatful of rainbows!
Yeah! Like in 'The Thing'! And everyone has their blood tested...
It was probably a mistake to stay up at the age of 10 and watch 'The Crazies' on my portable telly, ever since then I had nightmares that all the adults would go insane and kill everyone with their bare hands, and i had to hide from them - then 28 Days later came along and I realised it was all true ( sort-of )
I still have that dream, but now it's not zombies but gangs of rampaging scouse teenagers in hoodies and trainers.
I also have a recurring dream about sharks learning to swim in the solid ground and everyone having to stand on the furniture to avoid getting eaten.
Crisp-e was grey when he got back from watching 28 Days!
Portable? Aged 10?
Christ!
Cousin Paul had the very same shark one!
His started after we watched Jaws.
Somehow it would get out of the water and chase him around the carpark at Sandy Point on Hayling Island. He'd have to stand on the cars!
that is EXACTLY the same dream....
The portable TV was my parents idea - t was a little black and white number, they summised it was better for me to ruin my eyes and mind by watching telly all night, than letting me stay downstairs and listen to them scream at each other, which they assumed might do me more harm.
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