Trouble In Paradise 2

One of the “All Inclusive” freebies was a ‘Sunset Punch Cruise’.
‘Ok’, I thought ‘Maybe there’ll be a sunset tonight’.
There was a meeting time in reception and I pitched up.
Many Frenchist types.
Too late to back out as well, not without a $ fine.
I waited outside and because of this accidentally ended up first in the queue.
Being all British about it, I tried to hang back and let a few get ahead of me.
The French came out of there like, well,.. like fucking Exocets and made sure they were at the front.
They then made sure that they got, what they considered, the best seats on the top of the boat.
When the Punch came round hands were flapping at the tray like ‘Hungry Hippos’.
Their seats were very good, until the dolphins turned up.
Then my shit spot became really very good.
French woman then forced her way in beside me so tight she may as well have been in my pocket.
I was winding up and realised what the 'Punch' part of the cruise was all about.
She then felt it necessary to point across nearly every shot I tried to take screaming, “LA!”

The boat was circling the pod but instead of picking a spot and staying there, she ran from one side of the boat to the other every few minutes.
I was jostled every time she moved.
The Red Mist was descending.
You know when you imagine punching someone and it’s happening in ‘slo-mo’; and you can almost feel the pain it will cause you?
That’s how I pictured my elbow and her nose.
I was so angry I felt nauseous.

I didn't speak for about an hour afterwards because I still couldn't trust what would come out!