This morning I spent over two hours walking along the beach.
Just to see what the sea had given up during last evening’s storm.
Judging by the amount of shells that have washed ashore, it was just as brutal at sea last night.
It was still very windy but the sun was out.
I met four people during the whole time.
A couple with metal detectors, a bloke with his dogs and Mr fuckingknowitall.
There were hundreds of small pink shells so I decided to collect a few for the garden.
This is when Mr Fuckingknowitall couldn't keep his thoughts to himself.
He started gesturing at me, it was so windy I couldn't hear what he was saying.
He caught up with me and started going on about 'people like you', 'Sea defences'.
At first I thought he was going to tell me that homosexuality had caused global warming and it was my fault there were cuttlefish all over the Promenade.
No.
People like me were eroding our natural defenses and would be responsible for his daughter's cellar flooding.
Or something.
Twat.
I told him my impact on the beach was not as devastating as his had been on the gene pool and that he should fuck off.
He did.
10 comments:
Hahaha, I read out the bit to Kevin about homosexuality causing global warming and ruining the sea defences.
I was laughing so much I wasn't speaking properly and he goes, 'cedar fences, how does it affect cedar fences?'
HAHAHAHA!!!
I love it!
Sassy.. My Dad was looking at buying a place in that park.
It was part of his, "Once the last one of you fuckers has left I'm buying a caravan so you can't come back",policy.
He decided against it because, as he put it, One heavy downpour and we'd flooded out.
And I don't know why people think they have the right to talk to me, but they do.
I must have one of those faces that bullies home in on.
It doesn't take them long to realise what a dreadful mistake they have made and feck off out of it!
Y'see, there you go...your dad clocked it. Tornadoes, acts of God and other filth all land on Selsey and specifically on the caravan park. Why would you do it to yourself??
Weather definitely doesn't like Selsey.
I blame Patrick Moore.
What? Does that old tory live in Selsey, then? Hilarious. Hope he lives on the sea front!
Yeah!
When they get tornadoes, it's always his telescope that gets mashed up!
You're kidding! Patrick misogynist Moore lives in the lesbian stronghold of Portsmouth and its environs? May he rot in hell.
Oh, I suppose he is if he lives in Selsey.
A deputy head of our acquaintance lives there too.
The Big little Brother has never stopped laughing about the Apollo 13 reference you used in one of your memos!
Post a Comment