As some of you know, I’ve more or less cut myself off from my Mother’s side of the family.
The Big little brother, an Uncle and a couple of cousins are all I keep in contact with.
One of those cousins has broken my heart.
I’ve housed him, more than once.
I’ve fed him when he wasn‘t working.
Got him a job.
He has stolen money from me.
He has stolen from Housemates.
His Mother (ATM’s sister) has had me hide him when the police have been after him.
Supported him through a break up and loss of custody of his son.
All, I have done because I considered him another ‘black sheep’, like me.
I considered him a brother.
Yesterday I found out that his son was christened on Sunday and he didn’t even tell me it was happening.
I spoke to him just days beforehand.
I wouldn’t have gone even if I’d been asked…. But to have had the invitation would have been nice.
Gutted people. Gutted.
15 comments:
Just goes to prove to me that the 'blood will out'.
What a horrible thing to do. There were good reasons why you broke contact with your mother's side of the family - and as you say 'the blood will out'. I am incandescent on your behalf...
Sassy.. Thank You.. x
Maybe the answer lies in what you have written. OK, tell me if I am being judgemental (what moi?) but look at what you said he's done. Do you think that you might have kept a faith with him that he just doesn't merit - heartbreaking as that must be?
There's something so wrong with this cousin. If he were a machine there'd be a short circuit somewhere or a couple of screws loose.
Not knowing what's wrong with people like this drives me insane because I just can't square it away. I mean, people can do something I don't like or agree with, but I understand why they did it, but this, I just can't get my head around.
I'm with Schnee. I don't get this guy either - hence my more judgemental tone. You've given him nothing but kindness in the face of some decidedly vile behaviour towards yourself and others. And anyone with half a brain would know that you wouldn't have gone to the christening. It's all in the invitation and a recognition that there are people in life we owe big style.
I don't think either of you are being judgemental.
Once, a long time ago, someone gave me a second chance.
Saw through all the anger and didn't give up.
Adam has had 4 or 5 chances because I was loath to give up on him.
I sent him this text, (which is quite restrained considering how I was feeling)
"I thought my Mother's family couldn't hurt me anymore. How fucking wrong could I get. You've done me mate. Hope christening went well."
Something my Grandfather said sticks in my head,
"A whipped dog always goes back".
I feel like that when it comes to my family.
Ho Hum. A lesson learned.
Somewhat frustratingly, I think that family always retain an irritating capacity to hurt - even when you think you've seen it, felt it and been through it all before. But you do learn. I won't go to family gatherings. So, no more weddings for me where they're all in one place. Just does my head in and I've experienced the crapness of it once too often. I also know that I have to tread carefully where my brother's lot are concerned - and Diane is tricky around her kids too. I just keep my distance and keep the conversation friendly but non-revealing. You've given Adam every chance. You've done right by him. The ball's now in his court to show you that your faith is repaid. It's deeds now. He's got to be the stand up guy.
Only if you include the grils :-)
We come as a job lot!
Yeah, Hinge and Brackett are in!
Entertainment for the Fellers!
Mate, of its not one this its another. I CAN believe that he has done this. What a let down.
On the other hand, he just doesn't know how to get himself out of a hole once he's in one.
Crisp-e.. You're right there.
Give it a year, he'll turn up pissed and injured, begging me to forgive him because he's got no one else.
And so the cycle will continue. Family. They are a curse and a blessing. Its the ratio that is the problem.
Oy!
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