Quakes, Waits And Riding

There was an earthquake last night and it seems everybody but me felt it!
Tremors from Scotland to the Isle of Wight
I was up at 1am and nothing, not a wobble.
In an interview, some bloke from Lincolnshire said,
“I was woken up. It was hell.”
Um.. Hell?
I don’t think so.
Being buried under your house for days with injuries and no food or water is hell.
A few ornaments falling off the shelf is most definitely not.

I’ve noticed stuff today.
Like how small the writing is on posters at the eye clinic.
Sadistic fuckers.
Then twins came in.
I couldn’t help thinking what a head fuck that would be for the poor double-visioned bastards.
There were two old, deaf sisters who for some reason couldn’t swap seats with each other.
Doing so they’d have been on each other’s hearing side.
Also, moving me from one waiting room to another doesn’t make me feel I’m getting to the doctor any quicker.

Another thing I’ve noticed is, old ladies with bikes that have a basket on the front, never fucking ride them.
The bikes have bags and all sorts of crap hanging off them but THEY are never ON them.
I see three old dears regularly, but I’ve never, once, seen any of them on the bicycle.
Maybe it’s just Pompey.

This bloke’s lucky he can see at all.
If he’s using double doses of Viagra the fucker should be blind!