Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Catholic And The Yid

I had every intention of going to the 8.15 Mass but couldn’t be arsed to get up.
At the 10.15 I decided to sit somewhere nearer the front, away from the back pew rockers and nutters.
When I got the first lungful of incense, I remembered why I sat at the back.
Something seems to happen to old women when the hit the 75ish mark.
They sit at the front of the church and all of a sudden the back of their hair ceases to exist for them.
The front and their face is all pristine and made up, the back is a fucking birds nest.
There was a superb moment when a Dad held a little baby up in front of his face, just as it sneezed.
It covered them both.
Who knew a baby could be that full of snot!
Most entertaining.

What has pissed me off today, is the priest telling us to write to our MPs encouraging them to vote against any further ‘Abortion Liberalisation’ and ‘the removal of the need for a father from law and birth certificates’.
I’d be interested in just how many kids have ‘Father Unknown’ on their birth certificates in this city.
I don’t want my politics and religion being mixed up.
For some reason this has always enraged me.
There are still people who take what the priest says, as part of Mass, as ‘gospel’ and don’t even bother to form their own opinion.
Separation of church and state works in France.
I started talking loudly, suggesting that nobody take ANY of their medication because it could have been tested or produced from ‘illegal’ sources.
I was bundled out, in front of the priest’s procession before I could shout,
“KEEP YOUR ROSARIES OFF MY OVARIES”!
Just as well I suppose.

My beloved Spurs won The League Cup Final, against Chelsea.
People, I’m not afraid to admit that I wept!
I had Crisp-e on the ‘phone for the last 5 minutes, which were sphincter tighteningly tense.
I am now tucking in to my second bottle of wine in celebration.
Robbie and The Sassy One have been round and have eaten my culinary experiments!
I’ll let you know of any deaths in the morning.

Tottenham ‘til I die!

5 comments:

Schneewittchen said...

Because of course, liberalisation of abortion laws leads to a decrease in crime in future generations, less crime = less sin, so fewer customers for the confessional.
When is the Catholic church going to get over its misogyny (and I'm NOT going to apologise for over-using that word recently) and get some women priests? Hell, even some married ones might be of some help.

Sleepy said...

Preaching to the choir Dred!

But as you blogged about.
If you want to make changes, it's better to do it from within.
They will not drive me away.

Thorns are needed.

Hence my 'bundling'!

Schneewittchen said...

Totally! We need more subversives in there !

Crisp-e said...

The prods have managed it!

Twaz and excellent game. Very funny watching the Chelsea players getting irate!

C'mon you Spurs!

Sleepy said...

Crisp-e.. Glad you caught MOTD!