Sunday, March 16, 2008

Shells And Palms

My beachcombing and shell collecting has thrown up an awkward problem.
Combined with some good weed, a serious touch of OCD, the photo is the frightening result.
Cannabis doesn’t lead to heroin; it leads to fucking ‘Handycrafts’!

Now for the problems.
1.. How do I get it to stay together?
2.. What the hell can I mount it on?
And most importantly,
3.. How the fuck do I get it off the living room floor?

Come on, you are bright people, HELP!

Crisp-e visited yesterday, and I was close to tying him into the chair to keep from being anywhere near it!
On top of his dyspraxic tendencies, the bloke has a chaotic aura that he drags around with him.
His haplessness swooshes about him like an invisible cloak and this can sweep things from tables that he is not ACTUALLY near!
A bunch of arranged shells in the middle of the floor was basically, inviting disaster.

Today, instead of finding a nutter at Mass.
I, was someone’s nutter!
Palm Leaves are a fecking health and safety nightmare.
Kids were whipping each other with them and were nearly all crying by the time they had ‘processed’.
Everybody, but me, seemed to know the origami required to turn them into a cross.
The Gospel was FOUR pages long! FOUR!
I got disruptive.
Started poking the point of it into holes in the pews, trying to turn the pages of the liturgy book with it.
The man next to me took it; rustled up a cross and gave it back.
I was SO bored.
All the statues were Yashmak-ed beyond the eyeballs, in a fetching purple, so there was nothing to look at either.
As soon as the priest had passed my shoulder, I was out of there and part of the procession.
Scared the shite out of him when he turned round outside!
He let out a little yelp.
I frighten him a bit, I think.
I gave him a thumbs up, said,
“Loving your work” and headed off for some smokes.

The new BBC six part, “The Passion” has started.
It doesn't say anything about a ‘new’ ending, so I’ll give it a miss.

8 comments:

Sassygril said...

All I can suggest is that you do detailed sectional photographs and use the fitted together pix as a means of transfering your work to a backing sheet. Alternatively you could trace it as it is on your current background. The two combined approaches might work. It looks great and you should certainly try and preserve it.

Right now I'm completely knackered. See you in the week as I'm working from home for the next 2.

Crisp-e said...

The cheek!! lol Yeah, I seen that program too many times. They have been repeating it for the last 2000 years!

Sea horse looks good, no ideas on how to move it but you will be able to recreate it again. Next time maybe stick the shells to a thin piece of ply wood????

Sleepy said...

I piece of ply has been located and a successful transfer occurred!

I have been on to the Wylie one for advice.
No point in having a Tame Art teacher and not getting advice.
Fortunately, it has been photographed at each stage so shouldn't be too much of a hag to reproduce.

Next step... PVA glue and a thin piece of hardboard!

Schneewittchen said...

That's so cool! You should stick the seahorse shells on the wall at the back of Sleepy Mansions.
We had the palms and the palm crosses today. Anglicans can't make their own crosses, we have to have African kiddies to do it for us.
I'd forgotten about the procession and arrived at the normal time, just in time to see the vicar and a whole train of palm toting youths, disappearing out the door.
Our St. Matthew's gospel bit was set out as a little play, and the congregation seemed to be cast as the rabble, so we got to yell out stuff like, 'Crucify him!' and waggle our palms. Much more fun.
Glad you're keeping the holy Father on his toes.

Sleepy said...

I could have done with Tommy Tiernan's African priest today!

Artemesia said...

Sleepy..
I assume the shells are just laid in place to make your seahorse..I suggest you gently spray the beast with a clear lacquer or epoxy..This might get the shells to stick to each other and the ground you have laid them on.. Then take it from there. I would prepare some gesso (1/2 inch deep or so) in the desired rectangular shape and press the then movable shell seahorse into it..making a bas relief. etc.. there are many possibilities and alternatives for materials once you start thinking in that direction. Lovely seahorse there.
A

Sleepy said...

Artemesia...
Thank You!

Ana Jurney said...
This comment has been removed by the author.