Randomness

A few days ago, using the highly effective ‘Text Telegraph’, Sassy warned me of proselytising G-d botherers on the street.
I immediately changed into my Known Homosexual tee-shirt and awaited their arrival.
Two clean cut, very smart, backpack wearing, young men walked past the house.
‘Brilliant!’ I thought, “Mormons! Therefore likely to be Yanks, I can have at them on two fronts!”
But they had walked past and I was SO not chasing Mormons down the road.
Then the bell.
Old lady and younger one several paces behind.
Fucking Jehovah’s Witnesses!
No fun at all, they answer everything with a question and are way too keen on Revelations.
She may well want to rethink her opening gambit though.
“Good morning. I have a question for you. What would make you happy?”
I opened the door fully, let her have a good look at the tee-shirt and answered,
“If you were delivering Vodka and Cannabis, I think I could feel the Rapture.”
It would appear that even the Jehovah’s have no come back for that one.
She stood with a fixed grin while the other one slowly backed out of the gate, thanking me for my time.
“No, thank YOU for asking!”
I didn’t even get any of their propaganda with the freakish ‘Janet and John picture' idea of heaven.

This made me laugh and agree at the same time.

I love the look of these.
Although the price made me suck my teeth and squint a bit.

Today's most punchable face belongs to Una Stubbs.
I could seriously chin her.
The Culture Show had a clip of 'Summer Holiday', almost tricking me into listening to Satan's Son himself, Cliff Richard.
Fortunately I can hit the mute button without having to look.

The power of Alka Seltzer tablets unblocked the sink in the downstairs lav!
For once, it was me who had blocked the fucker up.

Mrs Next Door Without The Kids did test positive for Swine Flu.
Doesn't seem to be causing her any real problems but did say that while she had the fever it was pretty grim.