Saturday, November 03, 2007

Gripes And Chocolate

My ‘Lav’ reading at the moment is a book called ‘Pegasus’ by Greg Loomis.
The blurb told me it was ‘as exciting as the Da Vinci Code’.
It may well be, but for me it has been ruined by piss poor research.
Little things, like insisting us Brits shorten ‘Umbrella’ to ‘Brelly’.
Brolly? Yep, I’ve heard of one of those, but a Brelly? I think not.
Then there is Magdelen College, Oxford.
The author snootily informed me that the English pronounce it ‘Maudin’.
Do they really Mr Loomis?
Do they buggery!
He has proper pissed me off with this and like the other American author, who had characters paying for thing with £100 notes, I won’t read him again.

Why is chocolate gendered?
I get many emails from female friends with lots of jokes about wanting chocolate, craving chocolate and needing chocolate and how it cures all evils.
I don’t get anything like this from my male friends.
It’s more football, breasts and hideous injuries!
If I’ve phoned a male friend and they are a bit down, I never say,
“Ok mate, I’m on my way round, what chocolate shall I bring?”
It is more likely to be,
“Ok mate, I’m on my way round, what Vodka and Smokes shall I bring?”
Ho Hum. It was just a thought.
Crisp-e, don’t panic!
I won’t turn up round yours with bars of Galaxy, Vogue and Clinique products any time soon.

I’m off to Wiltshire for a few days.
So the blog will be on pause.
M hates it. Hates it with a passion, hates me writing it, hates the contact with people I have through it and I can do without the outpouring of insecurity, accusations and petty jealousies.
If I wanted that, I’d contact my Mother.
So, I compromise.

5 comments:

Crisp-e said...

I’m disappointed, I quite like galaxy chocolate! lol

Schneewittchen said...

Good grief! Loomis should be hung, drawn and quartered. Of course, the comparison with Dan Brown is interesting because I felt he did his British character most egregiously.

Choccie is only gendered because of peer pressure. Most of the men I know not only like chocolate every bit as much as women do, but see it as a comfort food too.
Likewise, not all men are interested in footie, porn and beer.
When both men and women allow themselves to just be people, we'll probably get to be comforted by whatever it is that really does the job.

Sassygril said...

I am totally with Schnee (and Crisp-e as I love galaxy too). I don't like all these soft porn-ish adverts about chocolate and I certainly don't go all weak at the knees at the thought of a bit of Green and Black. I also like power tools altho they can be scary. I like real ale too and football - separately and together.

And don't go there with the yanks.

Leigh Russell said...

Is it the time of year? Most of the blogs I've looked at this evening mention chocolate... and yes, they're other women's blogs.

I found the Da Vinci Code REALLY irritating. It's so shoddily written, I was quite offended that it was even published, but it was so gripping that I couldn't put it down. I was forced to endure pages and pages of clumsy prose. Publishers, let's have some standards, please!

Poor research is equally irritating, like the book you mentioned. You certainly don't want piss poor research in your lav book.... What a thought!

Sleepy said...

crisp-e.. Filed for future reference!

Schnee.. Men are allowed Yorkie bars, according to the propaganda!

Sassy.. I never go there with the Yanks! It's wrong and I feel sullied!

Leigh.. I know! I want to squeeze my head to quality writing!