Maury, Footie And Arrange Me

Every now and then I catch an episode of ‘Maury’ (Povich).
Often, when I’m trying to avoid “Cash In The Attic”, or ‘Crap in The Attic’ as it’s known in Sleepy Mansions!
It usually involves some rotund, pram faced teen, crying two tears out of one eye because she doesn’t know the paternity of her child.
Um.
Three words.
You Nasty Slut!
But what is really pissing me off is the term they use.
“Maury, I’m 100% sure, he my baby Daddy”.
What?
He my baby Daddy?
Speak some known language will you and stop fucking up mine.
It’s bad enough you can’t spell correctly.
The first time I hear it in this country will be the day I start planning to leave.
Erin Go Bragh.
Although, after recent travels, Canada has a certain appeal.

Unsurprisingly, Steve McClaren has been sacked as England football coach.
The 2.5 million pound pay off should help soften that blow for him.
He wasn’t the FA’s first choice for the job and he didn’t even make mine or Sassy’s short list.
But is anyone at the Football Association falling on their sword?
Are they buggery!
The whole FA chief executive needs culling.
The players have to take some responsibility for what happens on the pitch.
Bunch of overpaid, underachieving Prima Donnas.
As Sassy, quite rightly pointed out, we were outplayed by a better side.

This evening my eye was caught by the programme ‘Arrange Me A Marriage’.
‘English’ people set up with an ‘arranged partner’ along Indian family lines.
The first show had some ‘Horsey’, career woman who wanted a man who didn’t mind that she hadn’t gone to University.
She wouldn’t consider anyone shorter than 6ft.
Or if they had kids already.
Mmmmm…
Aneela, the woman running the show is a nice Indian lady but, as always, I’m freaked out by Indians with Scottish accents!
She got their whole families together for a ‘viewing’, Mum’s, Dad’s, Aunt’s, Uncle’s etc, which may work for Indian families but with ‘English’ people?
OH DEAR CHRIST!
To quote Will Truman,
“I haven’t seen anything so awkward since the Richard Gere/Jodie Foster kiss in Sommersby.”
When she chooses the one to meet, the Mother’s were introduced.
It was so funny.

I hope they do a ‘Gay’ one!
Can you imagine?!
I dread to think what/who ATM would choose for me.
My Dad would do me proud, too many times we have found ourselves eyeing up the same women.
We then both say,
“Euew! That’s SO wrong!”
And neither of us want her then.
For some reason it doesn’t seem so wrong when it’s my brothers.
How weird is that?!

Today’s ‘Shameless Homo’ award has to go to John Barrowman.
On this evenings Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two programme, he was on the point of drooling while he offered to help Gethin Jones with moving his hips.
Oh, yeah… Really?
You could hear the studio crew pissing themselves laughing.
Well Done John.
Shameless!