I got ‘Janis’ out today. Dusted her down, greased her up and rode her like the clappers!
For those of you who don’t know, ‘Janis’ is my bicycle. Named in honour of a great friend and cycling guru!
Portsmouth is ideal for cycling as it is relatively flat, apart from Fratton Bridge, which is easily avoidable. The only real pain is that for some reason you are always cycling AGAINST the wind. Even if you follow exactly the same route back from where you have gone - you are against the wind!
It’s madness. I’ve also seen it rain in the back garden and be dry in the front. Like some kind of chav ‘Eureka’.
I was on the bike delivering a ‘well done on the sprog’ card to some friends. The new Mum is Welsh and I was chuffed to bits to find a card IN Welsh, in Carmarthen!. An extremely hirsute old lady translated a bunch of them for me. She could have told me anything really, as I was fixated on her luxuriant handlebar at the time.
With most European languages you can kind of work out what is going on, or maybe that’s because I had to do Latin.
Welsh doesn’t look like anything! Not even Irish Gaelic. Which I think is groovy and no wonder they get all militant about keeping their language. I’ve learned Creoso is ‘Welcome’, Araf is ‘Slow’, Dim is ‘No’. I learned Dim from the signs on the campsite toilets. As in ‘No Smoking’, which begs the question, what could you set light to in the toilet that wouldn’t be easy to put out? You have access to quite a bit of water in there. One of the sites had a sign in the shower reading, ‘No Wetsuits’, well, duh!
Sarah Down The Road popped in for tea this afternoon. I think she is one of the coolest women I know. She is ‘straight’ and knows about football!. More than that she actually meets and works with Premiership managers, how cool is THAT?!
She is great for listening to my peculiar rants against the world and can usually put them into some psychological context! More often than not, we agree. Which helps!
Today, it was the matter of navy blue trousers and brown shoes. How wrong is that? Listen people, they do not go!
It’s the same thing as women who wear black bras under white blouses. Why would you do that?
Another one that really REALLY annoys me is men in nice suits with one side of their trousers tucked in their sock. It’s sloppy. Even worse, if their shoes are all scuffed up and un-polished. Total slovenliness.
People who leave the prices on the bottom of their shoes also get on my tits!
Housemates. Yet AGAIN there are 5 packs of lard in the fridge, in various states of disrepair, but no cheese or eggs. Whoever has the lard habit, get it under control for fuck’s sake!
6 comments:
Janis rides again...yeehaa! Getting the card in Welsh, now that's cool.
What the hell are they using lard for?
Oh, and the navy trews with brown shoes? Could work with tan - the real colour tan, not what Americans call tan, which seems to be a very pale brown.
But as a general rule - yeah, fugly.
I was really pleased with the card!
Nope, I have considered tan and I think that is wrong too!!
I shudder to think about the uses for the lard!
Do you think that the lard may be confused as cheese? Personally, I hate lard. In this day and age, there is just no need. There are so many different types of oil available: basil, peanut, walnut, chilli, olive, take your pick!
Sleepy, you know what I mean when I say, "the irony of it all". I can just imagine telling John (cuz) about this and him saying the very same thing.
I remember the first time I saw the lard in the fridge. It was like an epiphany to me. Similar to the type you get when you hear about something repeatedly, possibly even joke about it and talk about it like you really know it. Then one day, you see it, and whatever it is, you suddenly understand it.
In this case…’tall’ people really do eat lard!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahahahaha!!! That's how you get lofty 7 footers!
Post a Comment