I think the burning question of the moment is, ‘Is Carlos Tevez a Cardassian?’
Either way, he has an unusually shaped neck and shoulders.
As you can probably tell, yesterday was another day filled with football.
Joy!
The Big little brother came round in the afternoon and we got totally mashed.
We drank wine, vodka and espressos
He staggered into a taxi at 10pm.
He was due home to his girlfriend at 5pm, so he went to ATM’s for reasons of personal safety.
I’m not having an easy one today.
My Dad phoned this morning and left a message.
He’s dying.
He has about a week to live and wants to see me.
For some reason I can’t bring myself to go or even call him back.
Is that selfish?
Probably.
It’s weird though because I adore my Dad.
I just don’t want to see him all ravaged by the cancer.
I don’t want to be upset.
I don’t want to see him upset.
I don’t want to have to say goodbye.
I don’t want him to go.
4 comments:
Don't hide under a rock, no matter how easy it would be. Call him and talk, be brave.
Ditto to that. Mate, am so sorry to hear this news, you know you can call if need be. x
Oh my god, weird stuff again.
You HAVE to make yourself go Simmi, if you don't, you won't be able to live with it, however hard, you won't regret it if you go.
The memory, however powerful and vivid of seeing him like this, will fade more quickly than the guilt you will feel if you don't. AND, you're half Jewish, so the guilt will last twice as long.
I used to like that Cardassian commander, very male. I didn't like the one who was a tailor so much.
Half Jewish is a special responsibility Sleepy. You’re in the middle..
Not Christ, Pilot, the soldiers or the Jews. You are the Cross..The one in the middle.
You’re supposed to reconcile all the awful opposites..with wisdom and bravery. What divides Christians and Jews..Muslims..Christians and Jews..Love and Hate, etc..and now, life and death, sickness and health..feelings and denial.
He is your Dad..See him. He is dying. You are alive. Tell him you’ll be O.K. when he leaves. I’m sure that at this point he’ll want you to tell him that he did good, that he will not be forgotten..that you will remember all the good between you. He needs it.
Don’t be a goy now..be a Jew, the kind who are quickly vanishing.. You won’t regret this.
Most spiritual exercises are crap. This one is real. Trust me. I’m one of you
Tell me to bug off..I can take it.
A
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