Thursday, September 21, 2006

Tuna Tales

One of the Housemates has taken umbrage with Kenny the cat.
Who on earth believes a feline can be left unattended with a bowl of tuna? I’m not sure that there is ‘Absolute’ proof that Ken had it. There is a looky-likey cat that keeps getting in and eating stuff. So I’m sticking up for my boy.
Kenny isn’t bright. He got into the ‘stash’ when he was about 11 weeks old. Not the kind of thing you can rush to the vet with.

“What seems to be the trouble?”
“Fucker has eaten an eighth of the finest Morrocan!”
“June! Would you call the police”.

He slept for about 3 days then licked all the chocolate from a family size pack of maltesers. So he is a little odd, totally un-trainable but I kind of like that. If I died and laid undiscovered he’d be the first one to eat me, so the thought that a bowl of tuna would be left unmolested for 30 seconds is laughable.
My cats are my ‘babies’ and like any other parent, I am the only one who can bad mouth them.

Crisp-e has discovered a new and novel approach to the Dale Carnegie method. While house hunting he slags the property off in front of the owner. Big ‘thumbs up’ on that one mate!
Seriously though, I think we should complain and bitch a bit more. We just suck up shit service, smile and apologise. Hungarians get out on the streets and burn stuff when the Prime Minister fucks up. The French take to the Rues at the drop of a YSL hat. What do we do? Nothing.. Even writing about it, I just can’t be arsed…..
Crisp-e is way more forthright he threatens internet companies with Trading Standards! Excellent.
I’m too apathetic to stand up for my consumer rights but I get vicarious pleasure from him doing so.
Keep it up dude, you are my ‘complaining’ guru!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I used to work with a man called Ken Adams. He was a very tiny man, short and slight, but he was also scary. When I knew him he was Head of Science, but he wanted a promotion. I think his stature did disadvantage him, but nonetheless he would go for every effing thing in the Times Ed. But like Crisp-e, he would go round the place, do his interview and whatever other twaddle they wanted, then without waiting for their opinion, he told them exactly what he thought of the school. He made an art form out of it and really enjoyed himself.
In spite of his no win no lose method, eventually someone offered him job anyway, probably to shut him up, but they got a good deal with Ken so it didn't matter.

Sleepy said...

Brilliant!

Crisp-e, see the potential.. Unofficial OFSTED by Interview! Schnee, You and I could come up with some questions to ask, you record it all on your phone and we amuse ourselves endlessly!

Oh Yes!

Schnee, you in?

Anonymous said...

Oh I am so very in :))

Crisp-e said...

Complain indeed, but always with good reason. You know me sleepy, I’m a reasonable man; however, I cannot abide piss-takers. Especially when they threaten my financial or physical being. I take great pleasure in standing up to people who try and take people for mugs. Yes, there are many stupid people out there, but there are intelligent people too and companies should think twice before they try and rip folks off. I’m willing to go to the ends of the earth to make my point, so retailers beware!!!

As for Kenny, well, I’ve forgiven him!