Have been thinking about urges today.
Some people, when stood at the edge of a cliff or high place get an overwhelming urge to jump. My friend Dave does and his wife gets it if she is passing over water.
Mine is thatch. Thatch incites me to arson. As soon as I see it I get and overwhelming urge to set it on fire, just flick a fag butt at it. It literally gives me butterflies!. There are some places in the New Forest I have to be taken through at high speed because of this ‘urge’.
Someone else I know has a problem with scissors. Has an urge to cut up the curtains if she has scissors in her hands for too long. She actually blames the scissors, claiming they ‘dowse’ for the curtains!
Another overwhelming urge I have, is for that wanker Steve Irwin to get seriously bitten by a croc. If I have to watch it I spend the whole time urging the crocs to try a bit harder. I always want ice skaters to fall over too, as they wind up into a jump I shout, “Fall, Fall, Fall…” at the TV. During the last Winter Olympics I had a 70% success rate.
I also get the urge to slap one of my housemate’s girlfriends every time she opens her mouth. She is probably a very nice girl but I can never remember her name. To be perfectly honest, I couldn’t really tell you what she looks like. Her strident voice cuts through me, had to have my dinner on my lap today to prevent any ‘incidents’.
I also find I have the urge to shout, ‘Bollocks!’ at the News more than I used to.
This is one of my ‘Happy’ times of year the Football season has started and so has the new series of the Sopranos! Spurs could be doing better but it’s early days.
8 comments:
Got up to the news this morning that Steve Urwin has died. Stung in the heart by a Stingray.
Sympathies to his wife and children.
Now let that be a lesson to the rest of you, don't annoy me!!
I often have the urge to jump in front of the subway. Steve Irwin died? Really? Your power is shocking. That is actually creepy. Please remove that curse you put on me.
- Karen
The subway is another popular one!
Yep, my power frightens me!
I know the urge to jump thing, I used to get it every time I crossed Hungerford bridge - water underneath and all.
I also get the urge to buy huge quantities of chocolate whenever I'm in the vicinity of any that doesn't taste like spew (Hershey's).
Now I am having the urge to strangle Beta Blogger which won't let me comment without leading me a stupidly merry dance.
Schnee.. Have the same problem if I try and comment on yours!!
Let me know if you want me to use the 'power'!
Use the power...I'll send you a list of things I need mending or better still, meddling in....
Cool!
only another 18,978,569 to go!!! then we can re-populate the country with civilised people-who don't feel the need to pester the local wildlife at the drop of a cork stringed hat.
love paul.
Post a Comment