Friday, September 29, 2006

A Pox On NTL

The whole world seems to be on a mission to piss me off! Ntl are now top of my shit list.
They changed all the numbers of the channels and I can’t find anything, Bastards. The part of me that crosses over into the Autistic Spectrum does not like change. I find it very unsettling and more annoyingly I missed part of The Sopranos looking for the fucking channel.

Mrs Next Door has been hosting one of The Macmillian Worlds Biggest Coffee morning things, to raise money for cancer research. Great. All the middle class Mothers of yesterday’s crying children plus extras. The noise was horrendous and she managed to hold it during the only 2 sunny hours of the day, so they spread out into the garden. I did the only thing I could to protect myself, I went out to my garden and coughed to the point of retching. They drifted back indoors after that. The cats watched with sympathy and seemed a little disappointed there was no hair ball for my efforts. The downside is that all my sniffing and hawking has left me alternately deaf in each ear, depending on how long I can leave between swallows. Very irritating.
For those who are interested in the new and bizarre ways I can combine medicines here goes. Robitussin for chesty coughs and Pholcodeine linctus for dry tickly ones combined with Zopiclone make for extremely interesting dreams, but does absolutely fuck all for the cough.

New laws come in on Sunday concerning older people in the workplace. Brilliant! I can’t wait to walk into Next and see some old dear telling a young ‘lady’, “Oooh, you can’t wear that! You’ll get a cold in your kidneys” or “Oh No dear, those shoes make you look like a slut”.
Old blokes in River Island encouraging lads to pull their trousers up, buy the correct size to begin with and get a hair cut. Extolling the virtues of comfy slip on shoes, cardigans and National Service.

This weekend will see the end of an era. Crisp-e is moving out. We have been friends since the first day I met him at Mayhem School and within a week I knew I would have a mate for life.
He is quite possibly one of the most decent, honest, honourable men I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet.
During the last 5/6 years we have argued and fought, laughed and cried but there has never been a moment when we weren’t friends. He is generous to a fault and would give you his last fiver if you needed it.
Crisp-e, you are a legend.
I will miss you terribly and thanks for being my friend.
Good Luck to you and ‘Chelle and know you will always have a home here, if ever you need one.

9 comments:

Crisp-e said...

You f***ker, you managed to choke me up! First time as well. Thank you. I will never forget the kindest gesture that any human being can offer another...invite you into their home and treat you as an equal.

Respect dread! x

Sleepy said...

All true, blood!

Anonymous said...

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! I didn't realise it was imminent, I thought it was all theoretical and far away. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Anonymous said...

That's just shocking. I can't believe it. I'm in shock now. If I get fat (ter) from eating my entire chocolate stash, its Crisp-e's fault.
I s'pose I'm a bit far away for throwing my toys out the pram to make any difference.
Good luck Crisp-e and Chelle, you'd bloody well better make sure you visit when I do.

Anonymous said...

Gordon Bennett, I don't cope very well with change. Grumble, grumble. I mean moving 5,000 miles away wasn't as big as this. Hrumph. Very pleased for you guys though, mumble, mumble.....

Sleepy said...

I know Schnee! Aliens Road without a Crisp-e, it's just wrong!

Crisp-e said...

god bless you all xxxxx I'll be there, armed with chillis for when you visit. Let the burn commence!!!!!

ems said...

Ah, but did you get the channels on their new numbers? We were without channels for three days..

Sleepy said...

ems... Yep, fortunately for ntl there were pictures! I would have gone postal otherwise!