An English Country Graveyard

Yesterday I went to my Grandfather’s grave. I took a plant, wiped the seagull shit off the stone and had a good mooch around. I was amused to see that rabbits seem to spend a lot of their time crapping on him! He would have liked that.

As bone yards go, it’s not all that old. The oldest graves are from the 1800’s but it’s quite weird to see how headstones have changed over the years. You can trace a Nation’s history by the way it deals with it‘s dead.
The oldest are massive stone monuments. Crosses, Angels, Mausoleums and Anchors. Names and dates inlaid in lead. Bible passages and where you can find them, ‘Corinthians 3 blah blah’.
As a kid I used to hate the sarcophagus looking ones, especially if they had cracked open. For some reason I thought the body would be visible, a skeletal hand reaching out to a world long left behind. Things have changed.
Simple ones appear during the period of the first WWI. Engraved name, rank, regiment and dates. Some have regimental insignia and because of the time of year, all had a red poppy.
The same for the dead of WWII but in a little corner set just away there are identical stones, these have an Iron Cross insignia. The level of care is just the same and they too, have a red poppy each. That choked me up and made me think of those well tended graveyards in Europe, with a section that ‘remains for ever England’. I was glad that someone was looking after these Germans in return.
Cremation must have been getting popular because the small flat slabs start to appear and I don’t think being buried standing caught on!
During the 1960’s headstones with photos of the deceased start to appear. Nearly all of these have the surname Verrechia, Napolitano etc. There are also hedged off areas for the Muslims and Jews.
During the 1970’s and 80’s more information goes on, ’John Smith, Dentist’. The 90’s up to the present, Jeez! Pictures, names of those left behind, quotes (none particularly religious). Grave goods! Mugs, toys, flags, teddy bears. Some had perfectly manicured flower beds complete with mini fencing, some people seem to get territorial in death. Stones had trumpets, electric guitars, football badges, sprinters and saxophones on them.
The names have changed. Gone are the Maud’s and the Nehemiah’s, the Smith’s and the Archer’s. We have the Gurdeep’s and the Yao Ming’s, the Singh’s and the Chan’s.
We are totally multicultural in death. Shame about the living.

Phew! That seems a little heavy!

So, on a lighter note.
In the really old part of the graveyard, Moles had been at work. Huge hills on top of a lot of graves. I caught myself having a Temp Brennan moment, I was kicking the piles about looking for bones! How sick is that?
I didn’t want to bring any ancient phalanges home, I just wanted to be mildly horrified!

This morning, we nearly had ‘Alzheimer’s on a stick’. The ‘Nutty Daddy’ has taken to using his umbrella as a microphone. I swear to G-d people, he puts it in my face one more time and it’s going straight up his arse. No warning, no grease and no regrets.