I have been to see my Dad today, always good for a giggle.
I’ve trained myself not to ask how he is because he actually tells me!
He just told me anyway today.
I was mentally LaLaLaLaLa-ing but it has something to do with what my Dad insists on calling a "Hepidural", into three locations in his spine.
It will all be slow release and should keep his pain under control for 4 weeks or so.
As I said, LaLaLaLaLaLa!
His one man campaign to piss every single one of his neighbours off continues at a pace.
It’s the parking area, his fence and pavements this week.
People keep dumping shit in the car park so he phoned the councillor for his area, at home.
He proceeded to tell the man that since he and his wife drew more money than anyone else on the council, (all wages and expenses are printed in the local paper) he ought to do something about “my fuckin’ car park instead of watering your hangin’ fucking baskets, you cunt!”
Has the tact of a diplomat and a gift for Anglo Saxon does the Old Man.
In the last 25 years he has moved the gate in his back fence at least 5 times.
Now he has moved it on to the side. This is where the pavement bit comes in.
He’s dropped the kerb and had the area up to the ‘double’ back gates blocked paved.
One of the neighbours whose name according to Dad, is ‘Fuckin’ Lard Arsed Mare’, has complained.
Dad’s winning argument is that now he is disabled he has to get his Mobility Scooter in and out.
His ‘mobility’ vehicle looks very similar to this.
I love my Dad!
Right. Come on you Septics!
If you vote in Obama I will try not to call you Septics anymore.
I promise to try, but I find so many of you totally disagreeable.
Come on people, we fucking hate you over here.
On mass, as a people, we fucking hate you! Sorry, but it’s true.
Do this one thing and redeem your nation.
If not, don’t bother getting a passport, you are not welcome outside your own borders ever again.
I think Ricky Gervais, more or less, says it all in this.
5 comments:
Ok, here's my personal list of things Americans say that annoy Brits :-
10. Is that made of aluminum? (I mean the list goes magnesium, chromium, calcium, strontium, etc.....)
9. Don't walk on the pavement. (The road is not the pavement you freaks).
8. Let us genitally mutilate your boy child, it'll protect him against AIDS. (Ok, to be fair this was said to a Swiss friend who pointed out that that is only marginally the case in Africa, nowhere else and that WHEN he grew up, not having unprotected sex would protect him).
7. Did you visit with your friend while you visited her? (WTF???)
6. Happy Holidays.
5. That's a great TV show, let's remake it.
4. Nine Eleven. (This doesn't even work in your own language! I know, I have to fill in your government forms every time I go south and they ask for Day, Month, Year, just like the rest of the world.)
3. Have a nice day!
2. Do you like soccer?
1. Anything that should, but doesn't, contain the words 'please', 'thank-you' or 'may I?'.
I was on the train - from Victoria to Brighton once - as we went over the bridge at Haywards Heath - the bit where you see all the beautiful countryside, two American women sitting opposite me gasped and one said.."oh, they have made it look just like New England "
cunts.
Janis.. Spot on!
Richard.. Jesus! It's the sheer arrogance of 'em.
Yeah! Cunts!
Hahahahaha!
Janis, you forgot the one when they ask you to: "say that again, I just love your accent"!
Cunts indeed.
You also forgot their awful spelling!
Post a Comment