Mass Gold

I found this at 05.13am and have chuckled about it ever since!
36 hours sleep free, be gentle with me.
Ho Hum.

There was some pure gold at Mass this morning.
The Downs Syndrome Lady who sometimes shouts out ‘Tits!’ decided she was going to say all the Priest’s parts today.
This put the poor fecker right off and he kept missing out bits, fortunately she didn’t!
I actually think it was her who did the ‘consecration’!

HIM.. “…He took the cup, gave it to his disciples and said…
HER. “Take this all of you and drink”
HIM.. “T…T…T.. Take.. Um. Er. This is the cup of my blood…”
HER. “ Which shall be shed for you…”

I laughed out loud.
Proper belly laughed until I was stared at by many people.
In fact I wanted to applaud her.
Not that staring bothers me AT ALL; I am SO used to that.
Why hasn’t anybody’s G-d got the same sense of humour as mine?
Well, maybe Schnee’s has.
I really felt a lot of love towards Downs Syndrome Lady, which is probably the whole point of turning up in the first place.

Father P looked pale, confused and haggard as I left.
I gave him a thumbs up and a shout of, ‘stoic effort’ as I shot out for some smokes.
Another thing I noticed is if you want to balls up some perfectly nice, upbeat Protestant hymn, get Catholics to sing it.
They will halve the speed and turn it in to a fecking dirge within one verse.
Poor old Mr Wesley.

I’ve watched the closing ceremony of the ‘Olympiad’.
What kind of fecking word is that? Olympiad?
Same as “Medalling”.
“Oh, she medalled here; she’s bound to medal in 2012”.
What does that mean?
It means fuck all!

That was a massive flame they had going on.
Am I the only one to wonder if they had a big old rotisserie in there and were knocking out Peking Duck on the side?