Yesterday I got the 2.31pm to Salisbury, hoping that it wouldn’t be too crowded.
How wrong I was.
As ever, it was “The Standing Room Only Express” from Portsmouth Harbour to Cardiff.
I elbowed my way on and managed to get a seat opposite a woman so brown she looked like leather.
Then Chav McPikey fought her way on with pushchair, assorted kids and lots of ‘big’ gold.
‘Here we fucking go’ I thought and fired up the ipod.
I had a bet with myself as to how long it would be before the little feckers would be running about.
But No!
With a single look Mrs McPikey had these kids under absolute control.
I was totally impressed.
This led me to have a closer look at them.
There was something I recognised about her but couldn’t quite put my finger on.
Then it hit me, she had more than a passing resemblance to my sister!
I was staring and she caught me.
She smiled and half waved.
The next three stops were spent trying to work out how I knew her.
As we pulled into Southampton, using some sort of ‘Sheep Dog Trial’ whistling, she summoned her offspring to her hip.
When she turned and mouthed,
“See you later Sleepy”, the scales fell from my eyes.
She was one of my Cousins from my Dad’s side of the family!
I think my lesson was, “Judge not, lest you be related.”
3 comments:
Oooh, how spooky is that??? That's truly unnerving. Enjoy Wilts. If I don't see you before I go to LA, I'll see you on the 13th.
I am returned.
Woah! That's even spookier! (The swift return).
I must say, Chav McPikey doesn't normally clog up the train as much as the bus in my experience, prolly owing to the fact they don't like to leave Pompey too much and when one does get on, they look shifty, as tho' they're out of their depth. Which they are. Unless of course the whole fecking thing is chocka with fooligans.
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