‘Six expletives a week’? Don’t make me laugh!
My Dad would double that number getting out of bed and to the bathroom door!
Example..
“Jesus fucking Christ Joon.
Fucking knees.
Did you hear my fucking knees?”
The bedroom door would then open.
“Oi! You fuckers!”
Meaning us, his kids.
“I don’t hobble to work on THESE fucking knees so you bastards can lay in bed!”
The floorboard outside the bathroom door would creak.
“UP! UP, you cunts! Get to school! LEARN! Get proper fucking jobs, INDOOR jobs! So you don’t end up with fucking knees like your twat of a father!”
The bathroom door would slam.
Water would be run in the sink. Within 2 to 5 minutes the door would open and the roar would be,
“Which one of you fucking bitches has been shaving their fucking legs with MY fucking razor?”
The Tame Pharmacist’s Dad deliberately swore in front of his daughters, his reasoning being that they “Wouldn’t be offended when they went out in to the world and heard it”.
I love that one!
6 comments:
My old man would swear in English - but modified into Spanish speech patters, so nobody understood him out of the house, his language was absolutly fucking terrible - everyone was a 'carnt'
That's brilliant!
My Dad has a way of saying 'Bitch' and 'Minge',some find quite terrifying!
I never heard my parents swear, not even 'bloody' although I think my mother said, 'damn' from time to time - we weren't allowed to say that.
My Grandparents used to swear in 'Foreign' but nothing serious in English.
My Nan's use of 'Shit' was quite liberal and my Grandfather had a thing about 'Christ on a bike'.
This added a totally different element to the 'Tour De France' for me.
My dad doesn't even try to swear in English anymore...we all just laughed at how ridiculous he sounded..."you leetle beech" cracked us up every time.
I swore in French once - in Paris- and got told i sounded like an angry eight year old girl. ..I am male... wont be doing that again.
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