Sunday 1st February

Having a head full of snot has blocked up my ears and fucked up my balance.
I got out of bed this morning, Yes! I slept, and fell all over the place.
This cold is savage.
My bone marrow aches and my hair is tender.
To top it off my back hurts and I can’t work out why.

Filled with Contac 400, Temazepam, Lemsip, Cannabis and Espresso I went to Crisp-e’s exhibition.
As expected, we lowered the average age by 40 years just by stepping through the door.
We were immediately offered a choice of drinks by an ‘old’ person who would have declared us, ‘Scum’, if we had met on the street!
Of course we dived in, it would have been churlish not to.
Now for the HUGE news!
Crisp-e got TWO highly commended’s!
One official and one unofficial.
This got the official “Highly Commended”, had a little label and everything.
I wanted to get a photo of it to show you but do you think I could get the fucking coffin dodgers out of the way?
Could I buggery!
Crisp-e found out that the judge wanted to give this one the same, but wasn’t allowed because they had to come from 7 different artists.
Fuckers!
If you are nearby, or fancy a train ride, check out The Oxmarket Gallery in Chichester.

On the train back we sat in the First Class bit, just because we knew it was only four stops and nobody would check.
It was here that I produced the bottle of Champagne and plastic cups from my bag!
It was long gone before we hit our stop!

A cracking night. Wish I hadn’t felt so under the weather.
Thanks to Crisp-e being brave and putting his stuff out there, we now know what kind of bollocks judges are looking for.
We both have had an insight in to how to ‘play the game’ when it comes to this kind of money winning competition.
We will earn next time!