I have had a lovely wet weekend in Wiltshire.
The hounds are their usual gorgeous selves.
Today I was fondled, YES, fondled in Somerfield.
A most disconcerting experience.
I was bent over, having a rummage through the loose Parsnips, when I felt a hand on my arse.
Not just my arse. Further, um, forward as well.
A place only my doctor and the available women of three Counties have been.
It has been a long time since I’ve moved so fast and I hit my head on a tray of mushrooms and my knee on the Carrots.
Now I was ready to punch someone only to be confronted by Miss H, the Octogenarian Lesbian.
I had absolutely NO idea how to react! I have had no training for this.
She laughed her head off and said I looked pale.
Fucking Pale! I really needed to sit down!
She waited for me and I carried her shopping home for her.
Her parting shot was that I had a ‘lovely backside’.
It’s going to take me some considerable time to get over that one.
I'm going to be honest here.
Am I the only one who is totally underwhelmed by the whole ‘MP’s and their expenses claims’ shit?
I EXPECT anybody at that level of politics to be corrupt in some way.
This made me ……
1.. 100% Liberal Quaker - I got chucked out of a Quaker meeting once!
2.. 99% Sikh - Love it!
3.. 98% Baha’i Faith - Happy with that.
4.. 96% Unitarian Universalism - What the fuck is that?
5.. 94% Orthodox Judaism - Unsurprising.
I’m only 43% Catholic so there is hope for me yet!
I also got filmed by the Google Maps car along Rue Albert today.
If I look pale, you’ll know why.
It has been a fucking nightmare trying to post this blog.
I don't need that.
If it is as difficult tomorrow, count this as my last post!
2 comments:
You can't leave the blog, sleepy. Where else on the blog are we going to find a pale 96% Unitarian Universalist... (whatever that is)?
What a naughty octogenarian. And you call the parsnips loose. What must they have been up to with the mushrooms?
And yes, totally underwhelmed by the whole expenses shinnanigans. Bring back the stocks and we can chuck rotten tomatoes at them - or chuck the whole lot of them in the moat - the MPs that is, not the rotten tomatoes - although we could throw them in after. And the parsnips. Serve them right for being loose.
Leigh.. It's pissing me about and I don't deal well with change.
Some people have no boundries it would seem.
I ended up forgetting the bastard parsnips as well!
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