I don’t know whether it’s the time of year or what, but I think I am missing my sister.
We haven’t spoken for three years. She and her boyfriend stole £5000 from me. I paid him ‘up front’ to do some building work and he never completed it. Barely got started in fact. I stopped speaking to ATM at the same time because she seemed to have absolutely no problem with what they had done to me. Even though ATM’s own brother, who completed the work, told her I’d been ripped off.
My sister is 13 months younger than me and for a long time people mistook us for twins. In a way we were. We were so close.
We had the shared experience of a Step Father who abused us and a Mother who insisted she didn’t know. I took beatings for her, one that involved fractured ribs and a broken nose. I used to listen out for my Step Father going in to her room at night and stand at my door staring at him. That way he would leave her alone BUT would come in to me instead.
I did used to laugh with her though. Really, really laugh. We could crack each other up with a look, knowing that the other one would know exactly what was funny without a word being said.
But, I have been told, our relationship was odd.
ATM set up a kind of rivalry between us, whereby we would grass each other up and drop each other in the shit just to curry favour with her. Somehow trying to make her love or prefer you over the other one. I seemed to grow out of this but my sister never did.
When she was pregnant with her third child she became seriously ill with Crohns disease, which went undiagnosed for 2 years.
I used to go to her house everyday and look after her and the 2 kids. ATM would turn up and tell her to pull herself together, that she had two other children to look after and that her house was a shithole.
I cooked for her, cleaned for her, bought her shopping (my money), paid her mortgage (my money) and intimidated her doctor until she had the correct diagnosis.
She underwent three lots of surgery and at 24 was given a permanent colostomy.
That changed her. She became very bitter and angry. Her personality changed, she became selfish and aggressive.
To tell the truth, I didn’t like who she had become very much.
I’m still not sure if I miss her, but I feel the absence of her.
4 comments:
Sleepy, tis a sad story indeed. You can't take away your time together so it is understandable that you will feel this absence. You know how I feel about her and her boyfriend's treatment of you; however, she is still your sis.
What do you feel the absence of most? Is it the shared emotions of laughter or the other stuff? It is a truly difficult question to answer and I do not suggest that you answer it here. But, it can be that the sturm and drang is what ties us as much as the shared looks and laughter. You are a very different person since your split with your family. This has come at a cost, but the benefits - only you can know - do they outweigh their loss? I have my own view and you know what that is.
There's no excuse for what your sister did to you. And there are no buts. She did it and there's nothing you can do about it, well unless you suddenly and inexplicably take Holy Orders.
So the ball's in her court.
'Here's the five grand, I'm abjectly sorry and can only say I was on crack/enchanted by a powerful demon at the time, I don't deserve your forgiveness but I beg you for it,' from her lips is the only way this can be resolved. Until that happens you are basically in mourning.
Crisp-e.. Thank you..
La stu.. It's the laughs I miss the most. You are not the only one to think that I'm changed(for the good) because of their absence, but I do miss the giggles.
Schnee.. That will never happen! Hehehe! Never! You are right though, it is a mourning.
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