Complete Sentences Please

I am in Wiltshire!
Fear not Sassy, the felines have a locum 'tin opener'.

Anyone else feel like raising an eyebrow over the two paedophiles who avoided prison because of new directives on overcrowding, compared to the guys who hacked in to the voicemail of Royalty and got four months?
Mmmm... Let's consider this...
John Reid says to the judges,

"Look, I know sentencing is none of my fucking business but do you think you can ease up on the sending the criminals to prison aspect of the job?
It's a bit full.
How about getting them to paint over graffiti and scrape up chewing gum, or something?
What's that?
Yes, yes I know! Tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime.
Shh.. Someone might hear!"

So, the judges put the phone tappers in jail and let the kiddie fiddlers go!
I have to admit to admiring this as a "making a fucking point" stand.
The last Head of State that I saw, who had the judiciary in his pocket, was stood on a trapdoor with a noose around his neck on fucking youtube.
Before you start getting all 'righteously indignant', have a look at what the judges are trying to save us from.
The 'government' isn't allowed to do that.

Anyway, what did we find out from the voicemail?
Prince William had a poorly knee*.... Jaw dropping news that!
Christ! It could bring down the Monarchy!
"Four months, take him down."
Downloading Kiddie Porn and Noncing?
"I'm releasing you on bail because you pose no obvious threat to the community"

*Has anyone else noticed that William is more often referred to as the 'Heir to the Throne' than Charles is?
This tickles my Inner Conspiracy Theorist.
I reckon that was the deal that was done so Charles could marry Camilla.
The Throne goes straight to William and misses Charles out.
Looking at the Queen Mother, Betty has a few years left yet. I think Charles will abdicate in favour of William.
The whole 'Camilla as Queen' issue will never arise. If it does, maybe the British public would've moved on a bit.
A year after Diana died, who'd have thought they would be married?