Splits And Spits

True to form, last night was a totally debauched affair.
Much, much wine was consumed and we tucked into Sassy’s Tortuga Rum.
Jaysus!
It’s fine until the fresh air gets to you.
As I was staggering up the path to the front door, I put a foot on a slippery leaf and did the splits.
I mean the FULL splits, one leg in front, one behind.
Today I can’t begin to tell you the pain I’m in.
I have strained parts of my groinal area that I’m not entirely sure ARE ’groin’. It’ll be a few days before I’m back on my bike, that‘s for sure!
I had to roll onto my side to get out of the hideous position I was in.
Being pissed out of my brain didn’t ease this.
As I tried to get up I slipped again, smashed my knee and have a painful purple bruise.
Cracking night!
Sassy knocks up an absolutely blinding curry with all the trimmings!

Mrs Next Door has relatives over from Hong Kong.
I think there are about 5 of them.
For such little people they make one hell of a noise moving about.
They seem to stamp everywhere they go in the house, so much so I thought people had broken into mine.
I had Chinese neighbours at my old place and they were exactly the same.
Moved around like a herd of bison.

I watched David Beckham’s last match for Real Madrid this evening. A match Real had to win to take the title and for some reason I wanted Beckham to leave Spain a winner.
They made hard work of it but eventually got the win.
Posh was there with their new best friends, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
What really got on my tits was the need, of all three, to wear sunglasses.
This was an evening match, 9pm kick off, no fucking sun around then even in Spain.
If the lights were so bright they had to protect their eyes, how come the other 80 000 in the stadium didn’t?
Fucking tossers, using up seats that proper fans should have been in.