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I have been thinking about the impending smoking ban and the absolute glee the body Nazis have when they tell you about it.Yeah! Alright! I fucking know!
Pasty fucking vegetarians sneering and taking joy in my upcoming difficulties.
‘I’ll be able to report you!” said one, cheerfully.
Thing is, they are going to die too.
Somehow they have it in their heads that by NOT smoking they will live for ever.
I would love it if some PhD student discovered lentils, puy beans and chick peas were stuffed full of carcinogens and other nasty shit.
These people must be contributing to the hole in the ozone layer or do they fart perfume and shit sustainable fuels?
I think not.
To quote the genius Bill Hicks,
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fucking mouth”.
Oh yes!
The weird thing is, all these places that will have to ban smoking, I could go into the toilets and shoot up Heroin without a problem.
I can drink myself into a state of violence.
I can gorge myself into a 40 stone monster, incapable of working, and the state would have to support me.
If I had an ASBO, I could flout it constantly and nothing would happen.
If I sparked up a cigarette in an airport I could be detained indefinitely under the ‘anti terror laws’.
What a load of fucking shit.
I can drink myself into a state of violence.
I can gorge myself into a 40 stone monster, incapable of working, and the state would have to support me.
If I had an ASBO, I could flout it constantly and nothing would happen.
If I sparked up a cigarette in an airport I could be detained indefinitely under the ‘anti terror laws’.
What a load of fucking shit.
4 comments:
Yes, God Forbid we gnaw on irradiated carrots from the old Chernobyl fallout! Someday, someone will perceive the correlation between the rise in cancer in Europe's population (especially breast cancer) and the cold winds from Chernobyl.
In the meantime, may we please have a gas-mask for all that secondary smoke? It's like the trenches up in here.
Who said that they would be able to report you? That's just so not cool. Twats.
I guess we have had it here for so long people don't even notice it anymore, oh except that now it extends to bus stops.
People don't really know what it means even so. I asked ppl at work where exactly you weren't allowed to smoke and most ppl said 'anywhere that there are people' but when I pushed and said, 'well what about on the street?' and such like, they really hadn't a clue.
That's a beautiful flower but I have no idea what it is. We have a flower called a trillium that has three overlapping petals like that, but it is white and extremely delicate. Although it is a wild flower you seem to be able to kill it by virtually doing anything near it.
It's all about money, no? You wait, they'll start on porkiness next. We'll be weighed at work and fined for being over the top end or for having a BMI that's obese. I tell you, give it 6 months and that'll be the next item on the agenda. Today's breakfast news was all about booze - I tell you, they're coming for us in one shape or another. I have never felt so 'big brotherised' - or is this premenopausal mad ladyness?
And whilst we're on the subject, laws like this give those truly irritating goody too shoes the opportunity to be cheerfully vindictive in the name of the law. You def know the sort as they start young - always dobbing in the 'naughty' kids with a terribly evil sense of vocation because they've broken the rules. Someone's going to get hurt.
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