The fact that he is French is just the icing!
A fucking Poodle too! Man’s dog that.
I hate Poodles, absolutely detest them. Especially the big bastards.
One got hold of me when I was about 8 and humped me to ‘satisfaction’, his, most certainly not mine.
Imagine having to go home and explain why you have dog spunk all over your back.
Not one of the most comfortable conversations I’ve ever had with my Grandparents.
Also, being eight I didn’t really have the knowledge or vocabulary to be clear as to what had happened so it took a couple of attempts.
I do know I never saw those clothes again and I fucking hate dogs with Afros.
This evening I cooked Carrot and Honey soup. Very easy and very tasty.
I managed to fill and I mean FILL the house with smoke while trying to use the ‘Chargrill’ frying pan.
Fucking thing.
For the first time I was glad I’d smashed up the smoke alarm with a hammer.
Oversensitive fucker.
If it were ‘alive’ it would still be screaming like a chimp on fire.
My Beloved Spurs almost gave me a heart attack this evening.
Bastards!
Creepy.
3 comments:
I had a dog hump me once too! I was playing hide and seek so I did not want to move and be found. He was no poodle, that probably would have been nicer than a slum mutt that humped me. Did I just get choosey with my dog humping? That's low.
I think it's perfectly acceptable to be choosey about the dogs we allow to hump us!
You must have some competitive streak to put up with that for the sake of not getting caught!
Hopefully a certain smelly-food-making inhabitant of Sleepy Mansions was present for a tiny bit of payback.
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