Do NOT talk to me about Rugby. It is still too soon.
Happy St Paddy's to all!
This is a Greyhound smile! She does this and chatters her teeth when she sees me.
Poor old Jess The Wonder Hound has injured a toenail and is gimping about as if she only had three legs.
Grey hounds are huge wimps. They will scream out like they have broken a leg if they stand on a thistle.
Her nail has split open and has exposed the nerve and tendon. makes me feel ill.
I have done some DIY veterinary stuff.
I've watched Rolf, the Fogle bloke at Longleat and I've read Greyhound books.
Which means I'm at least 10 times as good as that Trude Mostue idiot.
Weekly, we watched as that twat failed her exams then STILL became a TV vet!
It was well worth getting that First Aid Car Kit thing.
She is now covered in plasters and lashings of micropore.
She's not keen but it stops me wincing.
She has also been responsible for me testing another well reported theory. Striking a match will get rid of the most horrendous of farts. Something to do with the *Sulphur apparently.
Christ alone knows what we have fed her to cause it but it drove me from bed this morning.
It worked!!
Thank G-d for a huge box of cooks matches.
*Which has probably been removed these days in case, if combined with the correct ratios of Monster Munch, Pot Noodle and Lamb's Lettuce, it would make a competent bomb.
If not a salad.
6 comments:
Yikes, Blogger is bullying me in new and unusual ways again, shoo, shoo, get off!
Phew. So, the toe thing - gross. I'm sure you're a better vet than many traditionally qualified ones, after all, you have worked in a fracking zoo. And the match thing - so works. My mum always used to keep a box on top of the cistern in the loo. I'd say, 'But a toilet is s'posed to smell, that's where you go to do the smelly stuff,' but she wasn't having any.
What have you done to piss off blogger?
It's because I'm black.
Innit!
What a sensational photo of the lovely Jess. She truly is a supermodel and no sign of a size zero. WHat gorgeousness...
You wouldn't say that if you were sat here with her horrible flatulence.
Nearly out of matches too!
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