Sunday, March 04, 2007

Strokes, Names And Cuts

Blowing bubbles?
I was nearly spitting fucking nails!
My beloved Spurs are conspiring to give me a stroke.
The amount of alcohol I’ve managed to get down me this weekend, obviously, won’t help.
My boys were 2 nil down at half time, to the team at the bottom of the league.
Not acceptable!
They got it back to 2-2 and in the 80th minute West Ham went 3-2 up. Bastards.
I was not happy.
Then in the 88th minute Berbatov got it back to 3-3, with a cracking free kick.
I would have happily settled for the draw at that point.
In the 95th minute the goalie couldn’t hold the ball and there was Paul Stalteri, a Canadian, to win it for us!
O CANADA!
A patriot son I love at the moment!

While perusing the Sunday Nazi I came across a name.
Candida.
It’s one of those snotty, posh names.
I’m not sure how it is pronounced but whenever I see it or hear it I think of Thrush.
Not the songbird.
I also have a problem with the name “Wendy” because, basically, it’s not a fucking name! It’s a made up word, one of JM Barrie’s I believe.
Toby isn’t a great favourite either, they are usually wankers.
Of course, if you work in a school, some names are ruined by tosspot kids.
In my experience there is a direct correlation between bad behaviour and awful names.
The more ‘made up’ the name sounds, the worse the behaviour problems.
Although, white boys called 'Tyrone' amuses me no end.

I sliced in to the end of my thumb with a knife yesterday.
Why do people always say, ‘It’s better to cut yourself with a sharp knife’?
I suppose that might be true if you actually WANT to cut yourself.
Fuck that!
Give me a blunt bastard any time.

8 comments:

LentenStuffe said...

Aint that the gospel truth! I'm with ya there, sleepy, a blunt effer anytime.

If I was the Minister for Edumecaycion, I'd make your blog required reading for all A & O & Leaving Certers.

Sleepy said...

Ha Ha Ha!!
All the parents of the Tyrone's, Shakira's, Tamisha's would have me burnt as a Witch!

Sassygril said...

Tyrone! Oh gawd, I laughed out loud. Surely Tyrone is an almost ironic term now, transcending colour or even gender!!!

My sister taught a girl called Silicia Whisker. Sensational name, but the poor little might was, I think, very disturbed and in a way kind of validating your thesis about names and behaviour.

But hey, it could be worse. Thanks god they haven't latched on to Russian names - at least you can pronounce 'Tyrone' on a good day! Mind you, every time I hear the name Shakira i think of that singer doing quite bizarre things with her rib cage.

Schneewittchen said...

Woohoo!!!!!!! Look at me!!!! I'm commenting again! Holy crap, or even holy carp, it only took about seventeen cache clearances and twenty-nine reboots - oh alright then, two and a half.

My relationship with Kevin should by rights have been dead in the water from the word go. We were talking about names and I said to him (before I even knew his name) that a name that was popular with Americans but which for Brits meant lowly status, bound to be troublemaker, was Kevin. Oops. Still, tis true.

Sleepy said...

Lorraine the IT woman told me that a friend of hers had a daughter called Scania.... After the lorries her Daddy drove all day!

At Mayhem there was a white boy called Denzil, that used to crack me up! He was well behaved though..

Schnee!!!! Welcome back mate!
Your Kevin is the only one I know.

musik-addikt said...

Tyrone! even here in NZ, that name still has those charaterisitcs. lil white boys, that are trying to be what they're not.

Candida is a brand of stationery lol

Jinx said...

Tyrone, now why on earth would you name your son that if you were white?! He's bound either to be a rude boy forever dressed in a tracksuit and fitted cap running the school from behind the scenes or to be perpetually picked on for having a name which he'll never live up to!

Sleepy said...

A white Tyrone would definately have a Burberry birthmark!

Hey, Brydz and Jinx. Thanks for stopping by!