Today I heard another saying that’s as annoying as the ‘cut yourself with a sharp knife’ one.
“It’s better to step in cow shit, rather than dog shit. Cow shit is clean”.
Clean shite?
Um.. Shit is shit, I don’t want to tread in it AT ALL, thanks.
The most annoying part about it this saying, is when people decide to share this informative gem.
Right after you have stepped in a dog turd on a city street. Where the likelihood of treading in cow shit is fucking zero.
Don’t tell me bird crap hitting me is lucky either.
Some monstrous thing crapped on me in Union Street, Aberdeen and I was traumatised.
It must have been the size of a small aircraft, with an basketball dimensioned arsehole, judging by the deposit it left on me.
It covered half my head, my right shoulder and some hit the pavement.
I had to spend 2 hours in Waterstones to calm down, then got pissed enough to order, and actually eat, Haggis.
Something I have blocked from my mind.
My lips are so dry today, they are getting sore.
The only thing I can put it down to, is the number of desiccated Nuns I kissed yesterday.
Their dry cheeks have leeched the moisture from my lips during a moments contact.
The Parched Pure.
Damned dangerous people to be around.
That’s without them trying to steal your soul with their profoundly camp rituals.
6 comments:
Absolutely hilarious!
I busted my hole at this one ... didn't lose control of the nether regions, however.
BTW If you had stepped in cow-shit you mightn't be heard from for a month. Those things are gargantuan; veritable oceans of shite, scuttery stuff too! Yeuch!
O ... I almost forgot. I hope England beats the nads off the French today. Drive them back into the sea ... for starters.
Scots game was a real mucky, cowshit business. No class in Murrayfield yesterday!
I was mildly disappointed with the Murrayfield game.
Took the edge off the Triple Crown for me.
I'm in heaven at the moment! Spurs 3-1 up against Chelsea..
Followed by the Rugby!
The sun is shining, It doesn't get any better than this.
Hey, how 'bout that English side, some real young talent there, Flood, Strettle and Geraghty?
Roma, here we come!
Lenten... There is some real talent for the future in that side!
Geraghty looked SO surprised he was still running.
Must admit I wasn't really 'gripped' by the game.
Although, the competition is wide open still.
Schnee.. Could well be! My tongue was flopping around a bit.
Birdshit is the worst of all. It come from above with no warning.
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