Birthdays

The Birthday Boys!
Kev, yesterday and Crisp-e today!

We are in to the star sign of Taurus.

It’s mine in a couple of weeks but as it is an ‘odd’ numbered one, I won’t be celebrating.
I don’t do odd numbers.
If I buy fruit and veg or tins, it’s bought in 2’s, 4’s or 6’s. Two squirts of deodorant under each arm! You get the idea.
I know other people who are ’counters’.
They count everything they do. Stairs, brushing their teeth, combing their hair etc.
Which one are you?

It’s boiling hot out in my garden but I can’t sit out there because of the noise pollution.
Screaming bastard kids in their paddling pools.
We are 5 minutes, tops, from the beach.
Fuck off down there and scream!
I’ve heard, “Don’t splash him/her”, “Keep your pants on”, but not once has anyone said,
“Stop fucking screaming, you shrill little shit!”
Except me, of course.
That’s when I thought it better if I came indoors.

This evening I’m off to Mr and Mrs Crisp-e’s.
He is having a ‘Fine Wine and Spirits’ party for his birthday.
I blame Sainsbury’s, he has discovered their stock of 10 and 15 year old Calvados.
I have Vodka in the freezer preparing for the occasion.