I'm in Wiltshire enjoying this gorgeous weather....
Or I was, until I encountered fucking Stinging Nettles. Fuckers!
Stinging Nettles have a lot to answer for.
After wasps and Pete Docherty, there is nothing more 'pointless' on the planet.
And don't any of you say 'Nettle Soup', I'll fucking Cyber Slap you!
Hands up anyone who has MADE Nettle Soup from scratch?
No one..
That's the kind of shit you buy at a Hippy Vegetarian Cafe, with half the proceeds going towards freeing Tibet.
(Don't hear of that so much these days!)
Surrounded by pasty people, wearing hemp clothes and bamboo shoes.
Their fucking badly behaved children called things like, Aurora and Merlin, running around screaming.
Probably because their skin is irritated by their Peruvian jumper, woven from the hair round a Llama's arse.
A place with such horrors on the menu as;
Nettle Soup
Followed by,
A fillet of organic Parsnip, Whipped Artichoke livers, served with a Chickpea Coulis.
With,
Nasturtium Ice Cream and a Dandelion reduction, to finish.
See what I mean?
Stinging Nettles have a lot to answer for.
3 comments:
I think you can use them as a dye too - course again, Dylon's easier. So is just buying new stuff.
John Nettles - prolly no relation - used to be quite good in that Bergerac. Apart from that, nope, can't see much use for them. But isn't it handy that dock leaves normally grow near them? I'm guessing tho that there weren't any dock leaves......
Hey, you make those nettle entres sound so yummy, especially at the end there. I'd go to your restaurant with my Vespesia, my Tholia and my Brutus in tow, all of us attired in burlap bags, straw sandals and singing some high-pitched nasal Enya number. Hooray for the New Age Metaphysicals ...
John Nettles? Could be a New Age version of John Lewis.
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