Chokers, Crunchers And Chums

Last night Channel 4 had the countdown of the 100 Greatest Tearjerkers.
I know, I know, but I lost the ‘viewing vote’ 2 to 1.
Match Of The Day had mine.
I hope Marcus moves in soon and helps with the electoral imbalance.
I may institute a Sleepy version of Proportional Representation.

It was interesting to see what the others got choked up by.
Bambi didn’t affect me at all but had to be physically removed from the cinema during Watership Down.
Steve Redgrave winning his 5th gold at the 2000 Olympics had me crying like a baby, as did Kelly Holmes winning hers at the last one.
Titanic didn’t touch me, but the Green Mile, Jaysus!
Fucking ET was number one, of course. We were shown the tape of ‘Eliott’ at his audition, which apparently had everyone in the room in tears and was the reason he got the job.
“It’s amazing isn’t it?”, said one of the Housemates, “How can they just cry like that?”.
Being the eldest of five I didn’t find it amazing at all.
I have seen every single one of my siblings suddenly muster up floods of hysterical tears from absolutely nowhere, especially if it would drop one of the others in the shit.

I have been a bit overwhelmed by sounds and noises today.
I was in the kitchen doing my usual thing, trying to remember what I had gone in there for, when the kettle started screaming.
We have one of those modern takes on the old fashioned kettle that sits on the top and has a high pitched whistle.
At the same time the cycle on the washing machine finished and that started beeping to alert me, a text message arrived on my mobile and the land line started ringing.
It was all to much and I was totally overwhelmed.

I think I must get that from my Dad, but his sensitivity to sound revolved around eating.
He wouldn’t eat with his brood of adenoidal children, claiming it was like, “Sitting at a trough!”
He’d have his food on his lap in another room.
Trying to explain that you couldn’t breathe through your nose and would suffocate if you ate with your mouth shut, garnered no sympathy. Just a glare and the question,
“Your Point?”
We were not allowed any kind of ‘Crunchy’ sweets or food. Celery was banned, no boiled sweets were permitted and I think we were possibly the only children who had to suck crisps.
Sometimes we would forget and bite down and Dad would go from nought to Psycho in a second.
“CRUNCHING!”, he would shout, while fixing you with a stare that would stop traffic.
Happy Days!

I’m off out on the piss.
A friend I haven’t seen for ages in town!
We used to work at Mayhem together, when it was fun.
There were three of us who used to hang out and we were a terrible influence on each other.
We’d go to school with such monumental hangovers it wasn’t funny.
The stories about the three of us out ‘on the pull’ are legendary.
All we are missing is an incomprehensible bloke from Limerick for a full reunion.
Sugrue Where Are You??!!

Schnee.. You know how this will end!
Will try and update later.... If still Compos Mentis.