The Celebration of The Lord’s Passion quickly descended in to farce when the microphone, that’s been on the blink for over a year, finally died.
Only half the congregation had all the words to what was happening in their booklets.
One of the three people reading the Gospel kept forgetting her bit.
Kids were running wild.
Father P, started to lose it and his head got very red.
By the time he had run round the outside of the Church with a Cross, in the pissing rain, to process down the aisle, I couldn’t tell his head from his dress.
Due to the many different cultural Catholic traditions no one was sat down, stood up or kneeling at the same time.
It was brilliantly chaotic.
I gave giving the Cross a kiss a huge body swerve, way to many sinners ahead of me with obvious skin conditions.
There was an entire family group with ‘something’ around their mouths.
Not for me thanks.
Then came ‘The Old Rugged Cross’.
WTF!?
To me, that’s a pissed up pub song NOT something you actually sing in Church.
Having never in my life sung this song ‘properly’, I let them have it out and proud, in the style of a Cockney Pearly King!
It went down well with the kids around me, but not so much with everyone else.
I was wrecked and I’m impervious to outraged Catholic stares.
Just a general observation; any man who wears a ring on his forefinger deserves a good kicking.
Seriously.
It may seem extreme but it really fucking bothers me!
Dublin, brace yourself. I arrive tomorrow night.
I will be bashing the granny out of you until Tuesday.
I’ll be bringing my own cigarettes and wine.
Fuck your prices!
5 comments:
Oh I'm so glad you're giving Dublin a do-over.
Ring on forefinger - so with you on that one.
We had a chap dressed like a monk drag the cross down the aisle. Personally I would have liked a half naked Jewish bloke, but oh well.
Ooh, half naked Jewish blokes...can't you buy those on the Internet??? Sounds yummers!
Dublin sounds fun.
Sleepy - Due to a glitch on their system amazon.uk don't have Cut Short on their website, although they insist it's there! You can preorder through amazon.com or online from Waterstones, Borders, W H Smiths, and lots of other outlets - free delivery and reduced price. But not amazon.uk. It's quite depressing - there's nothing a poor individual can do to persuade a faceless anonymous huge organization that it's wrong!
Because I love the Book Depository, Leigh's book is available there.
Men that wear rings on their forefingers usually have really fat and hairy forefingers, it bothers me too.
Post a Comment