The Quest

Something as simple as buying Cannelloni tubes turned into a fecking mission today and its official; there is NO Cannelloni in Southsea.
Along The Rue Albert I visited the Co op, Kwiki Mart, Tesco, The Deli, and Somerfield.
Nothing.
I even went in the Health Food shop in the hope that hemp wearing, Vegan Coeliacs eat Cannelloni.
They don’t.
As I was traipsing back I got pissed off with myself for not just going straight to Waitrose in the first place.
Waitrose always have fucking everything.
I collected Sassy on the way.
Not today they didn’t and I was traumatized by the experience.
Waitrose? Not having what I want? Unheard of.
That’s when it turned into a quest.
Too much time had been invested to just give up now.
We then tried Akram’s, the place for all things Halal, Asian and ‘bulk’,
Holland and Barrett, the Italian restaurant, Tesco Express, another Akram like place and another Co op.
Nothing.
Still I would not be defeated.
I cooked sheets of Lasagne until they were soft enough to roll and used those.
It worked well enough but they were just slightly too thick.

I suppose I should mention something about Saint George.
He is patron of this fucked up country, people who play Dungeons and Dragons and ‘Burger’ Van employees.
No one is sure if he came here though.
Who cares?
I like to think that as a Turk, he brought the first kebab to these shores and the ‘suspect’ meat was Dragon.
Not sure why he IS a Saint either but who gives a fuck?
St Patrick was Welsh.
We should get a Bank Holiday for him anyway just because The Reformation robbed us of loads of days off.

“Cry ‘G-d for Harry, England and Saint George’”