There is a distinct lack of Dykes for one thing.
Perhaps the one at Croydon is situated along a Lesbian Ley Line.
One that passes through Brighton, Amsterdam and Lesbos on its way to New England.
In Croydon there is one behind every ‘Billy’ and ‘Dislekksyk’ bookshelf.
This one is mainly old posh people up from The New Forest.
Old people who follow the arrows like they are directions from Christ Almighty.
Watching them squinting at the labels and then trying to pronounce a name that looks like a blogger word verification is entertaining.
Secondly, by Ikea standards it was empty.
I didn’t get ragey or want to push anyone once, which is bordering on the miraculous.
I set the timers to go off at five minute intervals, bought a cast iron skillet I don’t need but really fucking wanted and have enough tealights to start my own religion.
I’ve stuffed my face with mini Dime bars like an escapee from fat camp and feel a bit disgusted with myself actually.
I’ll work them off in the garden tomorrow.
I’m going to plant out the Radishes, Tomatoes, Aubergines/Halflange, and the Gourds.
B&Q was pretty painless too but I need to know how much 125 litres of multi purpose compost weighs.
I carried two bags of it about 20 metres and I’m now convinced something that used to be fully internal isn’t quite anymore.
Something ‘groinal’ popped.
Stan’s rant on Shameless tonight was nothing short of Shakespearean!
Lunch!Swedish Meatballs.
It would have been churlish not to!
It would have been churlish not to!
7 comments:
Ah...another pilgrimage to be made....Dykea Southampton and Chartres.
Dykea, how do I love thee, let me count the ways......
You would have loved it. It was SO empty!
I was at Croydon Ikea once, so gay it's known locally as 'Girls World" and a family were remonstrating with the staff because they had Reindeer steaks on the menu and it made all the kids cry....I laughed a lot that day.
Girls World!
Hahaha! Inspired.
The comment about the rheindeer had my tea coming down my nose. Oh god, that's just so funny.
Ah...Richard's reindeer steaks reminds me of the time I took year 8s to France and they were given roast chicken quarters to eat. I told them they were small ponies (they'd heard the French eat horse) and they too...cried :))
WV = ovulas? Seriously?
Hahaha!
Superb!
I used to tell them that the 'Ghastly Gaul' served New Forest ponies at BBQ's
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