I had just got of the train at Fratton and a text demanding ‘Bloggage’ arrived.
So, this is for Sassy.
I’ve never had a problem with flying, but landing in a wicked side wind at Cork has made me rethink that.
As my dad would say,
‘My ring dropped so low you could’ve cut 12 washers off it’.
I was stamping on an imaginary brake and holding my breath, the way I used to do when my sister first passed her driving test.
The hotel had a cracking view over Cobh harbour and an excellent view of the cathedral.
Fucking torturous building.
This place had bells that chimed every fucking 15 minutes, day and night.
Not just normal, ‘Play up Pompey’ kinda chimes. This bastard place plays fucking hymns.
By the second day I was looking into what I’d need to do to start a ‘Reformation’.
Since the time of Henry VIII, Catholic’s have not allowed to ring bells in England.
Priests weren’t allowed out in full regalia either but I don’t know if that has changed at all.
I didn’t think I’d be able to stop myself at a ‘95 Theses’ or make the Polish night porter understand, “Hammer”.
Considering he had such a problem with, ‘Fried Egg’.
I was freaked by the Chinese lady with the Cork accent.
She forgot my eggs and I misunderstood, “They are still in the kitchen” for “they are still in the chicken!”
As most of you know, I find the whole First Holy Communion thing horrendous and was generously excused attending church.
I was not excused the debauched boozing and bouncy castle that followed.
I had a little go until the ill-fitting nature of my bra became all too obvious and I was reefed out of it by a load of kids.
Apparently Bouncy Castles are now the ‘law’ at any kids do in Ireland these days.
I had an absolutely amazing day with Mr & Mrs Lenten and the Junior Lentens!
It is so rare to come across such well behaved, funny, ‘free range’ kids.
They are just themselves, no matter what!
Jovial Josie and Mellow Maggie have a huge fan in Portsmouth.
(Those of you, who know me well, know I’m not too great with the smaller kids. JJ and MM were very kind to me!)
I think The Boys took advantage of their sisters being downstairs, to have some time to themselves!
The food, the wine and most importantly, the company was just brilliant.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, all at Lenten Lodge.
12 comments:
I'm in total agreement about those chimes: they stretch credulity (not a stretching the mother church needs), not to mind one's patience.
The girls fell in love with you and no wonder. Glad you're back safe & sound.
That Cork runway is scary ... seems it's never without that cross-wind. But, consider, it could've been Knock International Airport!
Welcome back Sleepy-wan Kenobi. Next airport yer'll be at will be ours!!!!! Woohooo!
Oh and coming into Vancouver airport is a different kind of amazing experience, especially if you come in over the water, soooo stunning. The airport is fantastic too, there is a waterfall inside and lots of First Nations art. Then you come into the airport arrivals and there, sitting in the Elephant and Castle, (the bar is actually right by the arrivals concourse) will be ME!!!
So, not entirely like Cork, cos no-one will expect you to walk across actual tarmac.
Lenten.. Don't EVEN get me started on the hellishness that is Knock!
Poxy shed!
Your kids are Brill!
Schnee.. As long as I don't have the same trouble with the Marmite and teabags, as I did trying to get into New York!
All should be well!
Don't forget to send the 'shopping list', and if the last episode of Whistle Blower is anything to go by, you want NOTHING from Sainsbury's or Tesco!
It incited Crisp-e to violent thoughts!
The man who doesn't only look at the expiry date but the TIME food was packaged!
Eek. Well, the way they are catching up here (what with having stuff from Boots and all) all there is currently on my list is a refill box of Horlicks light and a couple of books from Austen's.
If Sassy has had her bloggage now, has she achieved bloggasm? Hmmm??
Bloggasm! Genius! It was very funny to get some little texts as Sleepy became progressively 'relaxed' at Mr and Mrs Lenten's. You could almost hear the slurring of the words and she was clearly having a blinder. I also feel guilty at my personal lack of blogging but I am seriously boring right now with absolutely nothing to say or contribute to the human race. And I avoided the programme about food standards. Picky picky I say...some people clearly never ate mud pies as children
To say that I would stab them in the eyes with the same meat knife that they used to prise open a drain is an understatement! Filthy scum.
Sleepy: really pleased you had a good time, I agree with Sassy about the progressively drunk txts. […]“Love you mate'… is always a decisive indicator of this!
Lenten: welcome to the family. I'm so pleased that you didn't turn out to be a weirdo!
Euw. I know I'm not hygienically clean but that drain thing is a bit skanky. Also, congratulations on the new job, mate. Way to go. Top dog! I didn't get the declarations of love from Sleepy just increasingly slurred texts continuously informing me that the Lenten clan were our people. It was when we got into discussions about Newcastle Utd that I realised she was truly off her face.
Easy, people, easy!
Crisp-e..How come you have a 'free'!?
I know Sassy just 'attends' the Uni to check her email!
schnee, sassy, crisp-e,
Those shallow graves out back are just going to have to wait ... and to think of all the back-busting shovelling myself and the kids got up to.
[cue Jaws music]
Actually, today was a true pile of old shite at work but enjoyable! I did some writing, some surfing, watched bits of Boston Legal on YouTube and generally farted around! Day much like any other...until you hit the marking...Lenten I need the graves for students. And if some more could be constructed, much oblige me old sausage...
Sassy.. Are the OUP still stalking you for stuff?!!
Hehehehe!
lol. Lenten: you will have to dull the blade on the slash-hook some other way!
Sassy: Thank you. Am very excited about this one. Most of the staff is my age and they have a staff football team! Hurrah!! P.S. I sent you a link to Snap-Attack.
Sleepy: I have many frees now that Year 11 have gone on study leave. You and I know what time it is!! Freeeeee time!
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