Why is it than when people describe the size of a spider it is always huge, but only the body?
“I’m telling you it was fucking massive, the size of a dinner plate………… That’s JUST the body!”
I always want to say,
“Christ! Imagine how scary it would’ve been if it had legs?”
An amazing photo of Glastonbury Tor has got me pondering.
It’s one of those pictures I look at and think,
Christ! I wish I had taken that.
So, following that thought, what makes you think,
I wish I’d,
*Written that.
*Composed that.
*Painted that.
*Said that.
I’ve also been thinking about ‘Green’ issues.
Sleepy Mansions tries to do its bit. Composting, recycling, the ‘cataract’ light bulbs, sustainable sources for the fire, secondary glazing, the whole schmeer.
We use Ecover products in the house. Washing up liquid, dishwasher cubes, lav cleaner, sprays etc.
But, am I alone in thinking that they don’t really work that well and are likely to give you a skin rash?
I don’t have any proof that they are less effective than the ‘un-green’ brands, it’s just a feeling.
I think I have it in my head that they are a bit ‘weak’.
If they don’t hurt the environment, they’ll be fuck all use on dried egg or a particularly stubborn skid mark.
Maybe it’s the packaging. It doesn’t exactly scream “Death to germs and dirt”.
The same way I think recycled toilet paper is going to be rough and scratchy on my arse. I also have worries surrounding its general ‘sturdiness’.
It is my ‘Birthday Eve’!
For a long time I have had a tradition of drinking my birthday in.
That is, I am throwing some sort of alcohol down my throat at midnight!
I have started with a 2005, Jean Vincent Freres, Macon Villages. Which went down splendidly with the curry I knocked up.
I am now on 2005, Gerard Tremblay, Chablis Premier Cru, ‘Fourchaume’.
It is one of the nicest wines I have tasted in ages.
I am determined to sleep tonight and have 37.5mg of Zopiclone for the job, to be taken with the Chablis!
According to the House Pharmacist, if that doesn’t knock me out I am inhuman.
‘Preaching to the choir‘, I told her, ‘ATM has been saying it all my life’.
8 comments:
Same caper with the rats ... no one ever sees a small one. Why?
Because then they might be accused of having seen a mouse. And who the hell wants to see a mouse when you can boast of having seen a rat as big as a cat?
Reminded me of the Tom Waits song, "The Earth Died Screaming":
Rudy's on the midway
and Jacob's in the hole
the monkey's on the ladder
the devil shovels coal
with crows as big as airplanes
the lion has three heads
and someone will eat the skin that he sheds
and the earth died screaming
the earth died screaming
while I lay dreaming of you
Well hell doesn't want you
and heaven is full
bring me some water
put it in this skull
I walk between the raindrops
wait in bug house square
and the army ants
they leave nothin' but the bones
and the earth died screaming while I lay dreaming of you
There was thunder there was lightning
then the stars went out and the moon fell from the sky
it rained mackerel it rained trout
and the great day of wrath has come
and here's mud in your big red eye
the poker's in the fire and the locusts take the sky
and the earth died screaming while I lay dreaming of you
Yes, and on that rather chipper apocalyptic note, happy birthday, dear girl, and don't forget to toast to sobriety.
Happy Birthday Sleepy-wan Kenobi. May it bring you everyone you need and may they each be carrying a bottle.
Written To the Lighthouse or Mrs Dalloway; composed Bach's cello suites; said any of Alan Shore's speeches in Boston Legal and as for the done that - well, that's for me to do!
Happy birthday, sweetpea. Must celebrate soon. Hugs and kisses (no tongues).
Just to let you know, the Alan Shore speech on homosexuality is up on YouTube. The closing line is a classic.
Lenten.. You are spot on about the rats!
Schnee.. Thanks Mate! Hugs..xx
Sassy.. That speech was pure fucking genius!
We'll get squiffy the early part of next week!
(We'll see about the tongues then!)
Really? Mrs Dalloway?
Oh yes, Mrs Dalloway's a right classic. Ian McKewan would be nowhere without it! And as for the tongue thing - you wish mate!
sassy.. Ha Ha Ha...
As they say, 'Every straight woman is one drink away from a Bi-Try!'
Hehehehe...
I hated Mrs Dalloway!
Ahhh, blissfull sleep. I hope it worked.
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