Just a question.
At what point, on the walk to your toilet, is it acceptable to start unzipping your fly?
I’m sure I’m not the only one who does this.
If using our downstairs facility, which is through the kitchen and on the back of the utility room, I start halfway across the kitchen.
Using upstairs, I start at the third step from the top.
I think I must just add I only do this at home.
It’s not like I get halfway across the pub and I’m flashing my ‘Mohair Knickers’ to all and sundry.
Actually, that’s a lie.
It happened once, in a club in London, but someone else was undoing my strides.
I have dropped a wrap of speed in the crutch of my shreddies, after foolishly inspecting it while on the lav.
The only time the ‘accident and clean underwear’ fears of my Grandmother were borne out.
I still took it.
While on the subject of bogs.
I have never been able to get my head around how easily and willingly lesbians will have sex in a toilet.
I’ve never met someone and thought,
“Christ! I can’t wait to ‘do you’ in a urine soaked pissoir, after waiting in a queue for fecking ages, to have people banging on the door while I’m on the vinegar stroke.”
Not for me. Too nasty.
Also, gay men get really annoyed if you use their toilet for a whizz, but it’s fine that I can’t get in the ‘Ladies’ because it’s full of men dressed as women.
Just a tip, first lesson on being a ‘lady’, put the fucking seat down!
Better than that, SIT the fuck DOWN and get used to it, we avoid the piss soaked floor that way.
7 comments:
Its funny you say that there is a show on Bravo TV called Workout ,the manager of the gym was making out with one of her trainers in the toilet !!
What an unsanitary habit !
yuck !!
Nice blog !
naija.. Never seen the show and after your info I'm not sure if I should!
Sleepy..you commented on my blog about the "guy" who is an undercover religious freak. You sound hilarious. And we have much in common...mostly the heavy wine drinking, unzipping my fly absurdly early and the vagitarianism. Keep in touch, you make me laugh. Heather
Ha! Well if they're not having sex in the ladies' - and yes, I remember that night at Martha's - they're just holding court in there. Same diff, you can't get to the loo, then you have to shift acolytes off the sinks so's you can wash your hands. And that was just this weekend.
Heather.. Welcome!
Schnee.. You're back!!
Ha Ha Ha! Martha's! Jeez.. I've pissed in the sink there
This is a very very good question, because I live in a house where my children strip down naked to go to the bathroom. It doesn't matter what the point of departure is, the clothes start to come off ... Half way up the street even and there's a trail of clothes littered on the footpath. I always forgive when I see that anguished, constipated look in their eyes ... The neighbours however find it ... what shall we say? A little uncouth!
Do you do this at school as well, I ask.
Of course, Dad, replies the youngest one.
The boys just do what you do ... hustle the old zipper into readiness.
Lenten.. Ha Ha! My younger sibs had a game they called "Rudies"..
They would strip naked and streak around the house screaming hysterically!
I was pretty much 'fully formed' when I was 12 and they invited me to play for the 1st time.
I freaked out!
Thinking back, I envy them that. (I had an abusive Step-Father)
The confidence and safety to be able to run around uninhibited, without being made to feel dirty or self conscious.
Lenten, your kids are very lucky and what is greater, I bet that hadn't even occurred to you.
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