My Sunday started brilliantly!
All the papers, coffee (in a cereal bowl, French stylee!) and croissants in bed.
Bliss!
It has heaved with rain all day. May must be the ‘new’ April because it hasn’t stopped pissing down.
It got better when my beloved Spurs (all genuflect!) secured a place in UEFA Cup football next season.
Oh Yes! Come on you Spurs!
I have had a superb roast dinner. I made the gravy, which is becoming a bit of a speciality of mine.
Todays was based, primarily, on Port and was yummers.
I have read a few obituaries today. Mostly that Blow lady who made hats.
It has got me thinking about death. Not my own mortality or anything like that, but what is left behind and more importantly who will be going through my ‘stuff’.
Sometimes I hope I go quickly, you know what I mean? Massive heart attack, gone in a second sort of thing.
Other times I think that knowing you have a finite time gives you a chance to put your ‘house’ in order. Do the things you’ve wanted to do and say what needs to be said.
All this has led me to a question for you all.
If you knew you were dying (and couldn’t get home yourself) what would you want your ’proper friends’ to remove from your house before your ‘family’ got there and started going through your stuff?
I got rid of my Grandfather’s porn before anyone else got there.
Made all the easier because he used to get me to buy it for him!
He phoned up one day and asked me how far I lived from a well known sex shop in the city.
Not realising what was happening, I told him.
“Excellent!” he said, “I need you to get me some films”.
I begged him to ask one of his sons or grandsons but apparently I was the only one who could ‘be trusted’ with the task.
I gave in and had to ask him the MOST horrendous question that I’ve ever had ANSWERED.
“What sort of thing do you like Pampam?”
Most people don’t want to even think of their parents being ‘intimate’, imagine that with a Grandparent!
Eeeesh!
I am now tucking in to wine and Calvados.
A lovely day.
Happy Birthday to my Niece Sinead!
8 comments:
Seriously, there is nothing. Maybe there will be, when I'm old and quite potty.
Sex toys! I would blush from beyond if I knew someone had found them....
Good question.
When it comes time for the skeletons in my closet to introduce themselves, I'd have to say getting rid of all the Ann Coulter books would be a priority. I read them only to piss myself off, and it worked. Should have heard the foul language outta me. I sometimes fling them across the room. I keep them only for the flinging ... That and all them blow-up dolls, I suppose!
I remember the occaision where we purchased the porn! We watched a manky England match, downed some wine and went off to the shop! I ended up buying some ancient management book that you would seriously NEVER expect to find in the 10p bin of a porn shop and have dined out on it for ages. A good test as to who's cool, and who's an up their arse twat. Never fails.
Oh yes, and we're both going on a European tour! Only I reckon mine is going to be short-lived. Plenty of goss to tell you when you return. We also need to check out when the UEFA bods do the draw...so excited. Bet one of us gets some tractor factory team in Minsk. I recall Lokomotiv Plovdiv two years ago where the local owner was a mafiosi and got shot before the game. Phil Gartside was shitting himself...
schnee.. I will have to hide something in your house!
MJnMe... Hehehe!! Oh yes they have got to go.
lenten.. Can blow up dolls be an inheritance? Or is that just too weird!
sassy.. I'd forgotten about the bargain bin! hehehe!
Cannot wait to see my boys in Europe. We will probably end up playing a team of lesbians from somewhere near the arctic circle, where it's 'night' six months of the year!
Nothing like keeping it all in the family, I say, nothing like keeping it all in the family (seems that self-love has got me a little tin-eared), though it could get a trifle boring, relatively speaking.
"... And I hereby bequeath to my wanker grandson my entire delectable harem of inflatibles ... to have and to holed till his randiness do deflate them ..."
Lenten needs to go on YouTube and find the Boston Legal clip called shirley schmidt-ho...takes the whole doll thing to another level...
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