Cactus And Cleaners

Every now and then I get one of those emails that go around.
Read the questions, delete the ones already there, put yours in and send it on.
One of the questions that always seems to come up is, ‘favourite flower?’
My answer is always ‘the cactus in my bathroom that occasionally flowers’.
It appears to be one of those occasions.
It just sits there for years on end not appearing to be up to much, then all of a sudden,
“TA DA!”
It gets my grin on EVERY time I see it!


I have finished series 2 of ‘Shameless’!
I haven’t laughed as much in ages. I have series 3, 4 and 5 to go as well, because of all that Sky/Virgin bollocks it’s one of those ‘on demand’ deals I get for not going over to Sky.
Well worth losing Bones for!

The bits I recognise from growing up are SO real and extremely well done.
Moving the pissed up Dad’s body out of the way so the rest of the family can enjoy the day, really resonated!
Finding him passed out in the pub.
Finding him battered in the pub.
Finding him unconscious in the street.
Hiding pocket money, birthday money any money really.
Hiding from debt collectors.
Fights with the neighbours, who hated him!
Him disappearing for days at a time playing cards
BUT
Christ, did we laugh!
He said the funniest things.
He never hit us.
We were hugged and told we were loved.
We had the loudest parties, with raucous singing.
And of course, as he often slurred at us,
He’d die for ‘every fucking, pain in the arse, bastard one of us‘.
Bless him!
I loved going to my Dad’s, got me away from the Rapist and the Nutter.
At my Dad’s I wasn’t ‘Weird’ or ‘Hyperactive’, I just fitted in.
“There’s nothing wrong with you Babe, you’re just one of us! Your Mother’s lot can’t cope with that! It’s like sheep trying to raise a wolf!”

Mrs Next Door is now noticeably pregnant and she’s got a cleaner,
‘Just ‘til the baby comes’.
All well and good.
I’ve seen the cleaner three times now and each time she is cleaning the outside of the kitchen windows.
In four years of neighbour-ness I have NEVER seen Mrs Next Door clean the windows.
Ever.
Being my Father’s daughter I can immediately see the problem with this scenario and hear his voice clearly,
“Easy Babe!
You’re going to have to stop her doing that. Himself* will notice and YOU’LL have to do it when he stops the cleaner.
Are you fucking mental? Making work for yourself.”


*In Dad’s head that would be the ‘lazy, useless twat that has got himself tucked up with my girl. She’s TOO fucking good for him. C**T!’
Reverse the gender and it works the same for my brother.