On my way back from buying some smokes this afternoon, a bloke riding a bicycle had an epileptic fit right in front of me in the middle of the road.
ATM’s words from my childhood came back with startling clarity.
“DO NOT get involved. Keep walking. If someone drops dead in front of you, step over them. DO NOT get involved.”
The lady in the car behind him stopped and luckily was a nurse.
This all happened about 30 metres from a busy four way junction with traffic lights.
I let the nurse do her stuff with the break dancing patient and got on with directing traffic.
He was out of it for a good ten minutes but when he came round, fuck me did he come round!
He came up off the ground like Roberto Duran coming out for the final round!
“Get the fuck off me! Fuck off! Leave me alone and get a fucking life! You fucking bastards” and other kind words of gratitude.
The nurse lady said she thought he might do that.
Apparently, some react violently after a fit.
Eventually the police and ambulance turned up.
As one of the Policemen approached I caught hold of him and said,
“Watch yourself mate, he’s proper fucking punchy!”
He grimaced and said,
“Oh Fuck! Thanks for that Babe and great job with the traffic! Want a job?”
We stood together and had a smoke while his young, keen, colleague was trying to deal with the man, who was now swinging his bike around like an Artistic Gymnast.
I asked if his partner was new, he rolled his eyes to heaven and nodded.
I wished him luck and disappeared before they wanted details.
DO NOT get involved.
If any of this came ashore here, it wouldn’t be there long enough to photograph!
When I was a kid a coal lorry shed its load in a residential street.
By the time the driver got back from the phone box (no mobiles then!) the road was clean and there wasn’t a soul or piece of coal in sight.
Good old Pompey!
7 comments:
Bluddy hell, what an adventure! So good to see you took your mother's advice and didn't get involved :-)
And as for the 'salvage'...tee heee...
Madness!
I bet there are kids posted all along the seafront with mobile phones, cheap vodka to keep out the cold and their Dad on speed-dial!
The Bill Officer was right, you are great at traffic...management. Reminds me of when you were here and telling other drivers what you thought of them from the passenger seat.
Blissful times!
It's a gift that frightens me!!
There are some total tossers on the streets of your city.
It would have been remiss of me not to inform them of this!
I couldn't agree more!
Mate! That is funny and sad at the same time. Do you want a job! hahahahahahahahaha! If only he knew. :)
Crisp-e.. My thoughts exactly!
Post a Comment