Method And Madness

I’m sure you all have your own method for picking up magazines in such a way that all the crap inside falls out and gets left behind.
All the loans shit, flower seed advertising, mini magazines that sell the heated slippers, stuff to revitalise polyester and trousers that have a waist size that is double that of the inside leg.
Just to piss me off, what they are doing now is stapling these things into the magazine.
Pull them out and the staples are raised up ready to slice and dice your skin.
Which is precisely what happened to me today with the television mag.
My hands now look like I have defence injuries from a knife attack.
Bastard ‘What’s On TV’ people and their cheap staples.
That wouldn’t happen with The Radio Times.
Shame I’m too tight to buy it.

I read a story today about Jessica Winfield, a transgendered inmate of the high security prison Whitemoor. She complains of the harassment she gets from staff and inmates.
I was feeling a bit sorry for her, until I read what she was in prison for.
Rape.
Committed when she was ‘Martin’.
My understanding of transgendered people, is that they believe that they have been born in to the wrong body.
Also, like gay people, they suss this out pretty early on and there is nothing they can do about it.
So what the fuck is someone, who believes that there are female, doing raping anyone?
I am not saying that women can’t be guilty of rape.
Just, to my mind, rape seems to be quite a ‘Masculine’ crime.
You see what I mean?

The advert for Virgin credit card is getting on my tits.
Two blokes in a lift talking about the wondrousness of Virgin credit.
They ask a third bloke about it who immediately puts on headphones and starts bopping around.
The two tossers look at each other and one says into the jack of the headphones,
“Why are you pretending to listen to music?”
Which begs my question,
“WHY the fuck are you talking into the jack of the fucking headphones, you wanker?”

This has made me smile.
The Priory rehab place chucked out Jade Goody because she is ‘too angry for anger management’.
Cracking!
Apparently she was being, ‘Antagonistic and attention seeking. She was effing and blinding all the time’.
No? Really?